I'm losing touch with the world. I'm getting increasingly angry at it and at myself lately. I'm so close to giving up its scaring me. My mother is getting on my nerves too because I have to constantly act happy or else she starts pressuring me to go on anti-depressants and get help! I NEED to get out of here! I feel like an animal caught in a trap right now, I'll chew off my own leg to get out! I'm getting desperate! I'm afraid of what I'll do! I won't kill myself or anything, but I'm afraid I'll act in a way that I'll regret when I start caring again...... No one likes me! Haha! That sounds so pathetic....but it really IS as pathetic as it sounds because its so true! I have tried getting myself invited to things, I have tried to get other people to do stuff with, and it doesn't work. Agh! I don't know how to make new friends..... I feel a strong need to start over! I have been wanting to cry a lot lately.....I have been a little too, but its hard because I know its my fault anyway. I don't even know whats wrong with me, so its impossible to fix it! All I know is I am intensely lonely and I have absolutely no one to talk to! AHHH! I need to change! I can't do it here though! My whole family lives in this small little town! I am seriously surrounded by them! I love them and everything, but I can't start my life with them creeping around every corner! I've been feeling sick for so long now too.....cabin fever!
....I can see why no one likes me. I don't blame them. Haha I should get into the emo scene eh?....I would really fit in!