Just some whining

SilentBlue's picture

I'm losing touch with the world. I'm getting increasingly angry at it and at myself lately. I'm so close to giving up its scaring me. My mother is getting on my nerves too because I have to constantly act happy or else she starts pressuring me to go on anti-depressants and get help! I NEED to get out of here! I feel like an animal caught in a trap right now, I'll chew off my own leg to get out! I'm getting desperate! I'm afraid of what I'll do! I won't kill myself or anything, but I'm afraid I'll act in a way that I'll regret when I start caring again...... No one likes me! Haha! That sounds so pathetic....but it really IS as pathetic as it sounds because its so true! I have tried getting myself invited to things, I have tried to get other people to do stuff with, and it doesn't work. Agh! I don't know how to make new friends..... I feel a strong need to start over! I have been wanting to cry a lot lately.....I have been a little too, but its hard because I know its my fault anyway. I don't even know whats wrong with me, so its impossible to fix it! All I know is I am intensely lonely and I have absolutely no one to talk to! AHHH! I need to change! I can't do it here though! My whole family lives in this small little town! I am seriously surrounded by them! I love them and everything, but I can't start my life with them creeping around every corner! I've been feeling sick for so long now too.....cabin fever!

....I can see why no one likes me. I don't blame them. Haha I should get into the emo scene eh?....I would really fit in!

Comments

Anonymous's picture

I hear yah, I felt that way e

I hear yah, I felt that way earlier this year too. I dont know if its an option bt you could move to a differnt town, maybe live with a friend for awhile. As for the current stress issues you need to destress a little, go to the nearest empty place, a farmers feild or the end of the road anywhere really and scream. Scream like you mean it, channel all your anger and frustration into screaming, you'll have a sore throat but you'll feel better. And as for crying go for it, its also good for stress relief, but go somewhere discreet, find a place for some "me" time. Bring a candle and a book and just relax. As for being popular and getting invited out, dont worry about it, being popular isnt important. And if you need to talk im on MSN and Yahoo most nights PM me for my info. I hope this helps.

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"Secrecy is the art of hiding unbeknownst information from people." ~ Ilpalazzo

 /\_/\
( >.< )  It hurts!!
 ) O (

black_sheep's picture

Same thoughts

I feel the same way.
P.S. The emo scene sucks.

"The mainstream comes to you, but you have to go to the underground." -Frank Zappa
"Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly." - Dalai Lama