I feel so lost and the fact is I don't know how I came to be lost. I don't understand much anymore I just go on with ny day wake up dress talk walk work sleep without knowing why is it I do all these things. I'm trying to find out why but I keep losing the battle I don't understand anything really I know this all sounds like some pshyco babbly but really I think i'm losing it. My mind is spinning I keep having these spur of the moment being very freaked out and crying panicking freaking out almost not knowing who I am. I always wonder why this or that I need to know why I do the things I do I'm so scared all the time.
I just don't know what to do anymore I feel as if i've lost any hope to continue fighting another day. I keep on though even though I know its pointless i'll never come to the truth. Never know whats going on never be satisfied with just living for the moment today without knowing what lifes all about I need answers that I know unfortunately is never going to be answered as long as I live. Yet i'm not going to kill myself. I can't I won't its weakness well for me not that anyone who has is weak.
I don't know i'm not trying to say anyones weak. I just don't know thats the word that comes and I can't explain really in words how I feel its all just a big mess I feel as if im losing my mind day by day. I think noone is noticing im unraveling and I'm afraid by the time they do it will be too late ill be too far gone in my mind in my confusion to get back im so scared and I don't know why so confused so lost and I try and try to know why but it never comes the reasons or answer to those feelings.