Stalling? Me? Stalling? Never!

Riku's picture

Sora came over. She didn't come over to talk, she came over to give me cake. She loved the gifts. And she saw the note. And I'm going to sleep over at her house ummm... Friday? I'm not TOTALLY forgetful... Except for when I am... Which is right now... She's gonna come get me so I'll like either tell her then, or if I chicken out again I'll tell her while I'm over there. And I've decided that I'm not going to eat any chocolate until I do. Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a bar of 70% dark chocolate sitting near my bed right now. Hehe, I'm giving myself incentive.

And plus, it was really, really hard for me to not just kiss her on the spot. And it'll be easier to get over that if I tell her.

Annnd.. She's sending me mixed signals again. She saw the Utena novel and she says that she was about to say eww because it almost looked like two girls kissing. (She isn't homophobic... At all. (But most of you probably know this don't you?) But she claims she dosen't like Yuri. (By Yuri I mean shoujo-ai. I know there's a difference but she dosen't. And I really don't feel like explaining it to her, it's sort of embarassing.)) Then she takes it back when she says Leon is hot. She always calls him hot. So it was kind of weird.

But then it's also kind of weird when you're sitting in a twin sized bed with the object of your affections and she asks you how you feel about shojou-ai vs. shohen-ai. heheh. I sort of went silent because I can't lie. I stink at lying. That was so akward... And embarassing. But she didn't seem to notice or something.

In other news, I read a little bit of "Rainbow Boys" at the bookstore. I like it so far. But I didn't buy it because I have a bunch of other books I should be reading...

And... I'm sorry that I'm a total chicken. Heh. ^^'

Comments

ThinkGreen's picture

So if she's your friend, but

So if she's your friend, but you think she might give you a slightly negative response to your coming out to her, just let her know how hard it is, and how nerves you get, and all the shit all of us gays have to go through at school everyday with unexcepting and ignorant students, and she'll understand. Because when I told my friend she didn't have the best reaction, but when I couldn't help myself and started crying and telling her about a time in school where I felt I was in danger because of it and a bunch of other things, she then saw how hard it is, and she stoped judging it right then and there.

Don't feel bad that you can't seem to be able to do it. It's soooo hard. You can do it.

-kd

The future is just a concept we use to avoid living today.

Book_Freak's picture

Insert Intresting Title Here

Coming out to ANYONE is hard, and the fact that you're coming out to your best friend/crush just has to make it more so. Frightened? Yes, rightfully so. Total chicken? No. The fact that you gave her the note to talk just proves how brave you were. The rest will come when you're ready. Till then, have fun and dream of delicious chocolate! ^_^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There's a fine line between love and hate
And I don't mind
Just let me say that I like that
I like that"

whateversexual_llama's picture

*gasp* I couldn't live withou

*gasp* I couldn't live without Yuri. I'ma yuri addict. heh. And yuri kills yaoi any day.

Anyway, it sounds like even if she doesn't like you back, she'll be open and accepting about it. Which is a good thing.

Or, option B, she doesn't want to admit to you that she likes yuri/shojou-ai because she's in some sort of denial, and thinks if she stays away from reading yuri, it'll get her mind off of living it.

Good luck with telling her, and if you need to get rid of that 70% dark chocolate, I'll eat it.

Be yourself. Because if you're busy being someone else, then who's gonna be you?