*tears hair out*

Riku's picture

Why am I so stupid? WHYYY!? I managed to get Sora to start questioning what was bugging me. But I couldn't tell her. She told me herself that she wouldn't stop being my friend. And I belive her but I can't tell her. I don't know why? D: I even ran out after her when she began walking home. (For some reason I'm not allowed to walk her home.) And I told her that there's something I want to tell her. And I froze up again. Why am I like this? Well, she told me to call her later and I did but she was already asleep. (It was 7:30) So I guess she got as little sleep as I did.

Argh! Why is it so easy to tell a bunch of strangers something. But to tell the one person who really needs to hear it so hard? WHYYYY!?

ANYWAY, she slept over, which was wonderful because SHE suggested that we share the bed, the small one, in my room. But I was falling off the bed all night, I didn't dare go near her. (I'm so shy...) But when I woke up her arm was on me and she was like, right next to me. (I could feel her leg on mine.) So I stayed there like that for a little while, and then she took her arm away, so I turned around so I could see her face and she was awake, (I might have woken her up by moving though.) and as soon as she realized I was awake she pulled her leg away. It was really weird. And then we just looked at each other, and started laughing. We always do that for some reason.

She was kind of annoying today, she kept touching my guitar and cell phone. But oh well. I'm still mad at myself. I want to tell her, but I keep freezing up. Though I try to hint a little so maybe she'll get the idea and ask me. To make it easier on me... But I know that's not very likely... At all... A girl can dream right?

In other news, Sora's sister might take me to the dance at her school if she can't get a date. You know, as friends. Which would be cool because I love to dance. :) And plus I'll probably make some friends since she'll like, introduce me to everyone. Which would be cool. Because I don't really have very many friends right now. Besides Sora and her sisters. And did I mention that I love to dance? =D

On the other hand, I asked Sora why she's always sitting on my lap, and she would avoid answering me... Which was weird, and reminded me of when we were at the amusement park, and she's about to tell me something. And then she's like “Never mind


whateversexual_llama's picture

*glues your hair back to your head*

Y'know, what it sounds like to me is she's avoiding the questions and trying to tell you stuff because she's in the EXACT same position as you. You probably started cracking up because its easier to be silly than serious.

It always takes a lot of tries and getting frustrated and messing up to tell someone. So, as frustrating as it was, you made progress. The best way to tell her is not to think about it. Try to detach yourself from the words (this sounds odd, I know), and they'll just do what they do.

Be yourself. Because if you're busy being someone else, then who's gonna be you?

ForeverEndedToday's picture

I agreee with the above^. Do

I agreee with the above^. Dont worry about it when its time youll tell her. Once the first word comes out its so much easier to say the rest of the sentence. Dont worry youll tell her!

"Who says that there's a soul?
Just let me be..."

sugarmagnolia's picture

you're friends behaviors soun

you're friends behaviors sound like mine when i'm trying to tell someone that i'm gay but can't get the words out, and then someone else brings it up and i don't want to deny it but don't know what to do. maybe she is gay... i don't see why else she would leave her leg next to yours and suddenly pull it away when she realized you were awake. my friend and i do similar things sometimes. we were dying easter eggs with her little cousin, and were both trying to hold all the cups of dye so that her cousin wouldn't spill them... at one point she grabbed a cup right after i did, and rather than pulling away immediately to grab another cup she left her hand on top of mine for a while... who knows? maybe if you can't get the words to come out, you could try writing a letter? even if you don't want to actually give it to her it would help you figure out what exactly to say to her when the moment comes. good luck. :)

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"