I feel like just dropping my life and moving to Tibet. I yearn for the beauty and the freedom of Tibet. To me, It just seems like a totally different world. I need to get away from the world. I'm sick of people, of worrying. I just want to be free.
Today, I watched a hawk circle the sky (this sounds so cliche), and I ran out to the bathroom to cry. I'm like a ticking bomb of emotions. Everyone says it's just because I am a teenager. Okay, thanks for the sex ed lesson, but it's beyond being young. Maybe teenagers know more about freedom than the rest of the world. I mean, we're the few that dream. Old men and women sit in their cubicles of their dead end job wondering what happened to their plans to be a model, an actress, to have fun at what they are doing. Instead, they end up in a job for worry-aholics, making jokes with their co-workers in the staff lounge. I swear, I will grow up different. I WILL get away from America. I could care less about love. I just want away from the hustle and bustle, in a land so far away.
Should I feel selfish by doing this? Leaving everyone behind to end up miserable? Maybe, I'll go to Tibet, stay for a few years, then want to go back. I don't know, but what's going on now isn't working; I know for a fact, that at the pace I'm going, life isn't going to get any different.
I'm going to go meditate on this tonight.