girls or boys girls or boys

the ghost's picture

Its been a couple of weeks since I made a journal entry but I kind of feel like going on a bit of a ramble
so here I go with another journal entry.

I feel kind of weird today.I don't feel sad but I don't feel happy. Hmmm does that mean I'm content? I don't
think it really does.I think it just means nothing bad happened to me today to upset me, but nothing
particularly good happened to make me all happy.Whatever,at least I'm not all miserable.

I'm still totally obsessing about my sexuality.I'm 21 I really wish I had this figured out by now so I could
just get on with my life!I know that I am very much interested in girls,so its the "do I like guys?" that
causes me so much confusion.I basically don't really know if I'm bi or lesbian.Though I hate the word
lesbian,so I shall just use the term gay for this entry.

I think that I tend to fall in love with girls and physically I am attracted to them.I have had so many
crushes on girls.Then I think about guys and I can look at them and think that some are attractive,but not
really be attracted to them.Its like there is something missing.

I guess it all basically comes down to sex, and I think the thought of being with a girl is way hotter than
a guy,but I know that it is also possible for me to be with a guy,so does that make me bi? And I just
haven't found the right one?

I really want to start taking some steps to coming out but since I am not 100% sure what I am I'm reluctant.
I think that is the main thing that keeps me scared from telling at leats a couple of my friends.I could
just go with bi for now but then I don't want to give anyone any false hope that Im loving guys as much as
girls.

Well I guess I better end this entry here.If you have read thanks.

Comments

SilentBlue's picture

I don't like the "waiting for

I don't like the "waiting for the right guy to come along" thing. If you can say that, then you can say every straight girl might just not have met the right lesbian, you know. So the is the possibility of falling for a guy in the future....but if right now all you have feelings for is girls, then don't let the little attractions that you don't feel you want to go anywhere with guys make it confusing for you. I'm not saying "be a lesbian, forget guys" just allow yourself to be comfortable with how you really feel and just keep an open mind from there.

I think everyone can appreciate attractiveness. I don't think even the most stone butch, bull-dyke lesbian in the world would not be able to tell you if a man was attractive or not. I think Sexual attraction is the most important factor in someones sexual orientation. It's pretty much what makes the difference between being best friends or something more.