I don't want your kind of love

Y - GuRl's picture

Mentioned before that I sorta had my eye on a girl in my class, the one who I thought gave out queer vibes. We were in video class and I saw some of the footage she was in and she has a butch walk.. so I thought hmmm. Didn't see her for a while, then when I did, she had cut her hair short.. I don't know about you, but that definetely screams out dyke. I think it looks good but that's because sub-consciously I'm more attracted to queer looking girls now (it just happened, it never used to be like that). Most of the time normal looking straight girls do nothing for me, I was hoping to see cute hoodie girl at the skate shop the other day but was dissapointed when there were two new blonde girls working there instead. They don't belong there.. they should be working at some store that I wouldn't go into. To the straight guy eye, they would be considered hot, to me, not so much. Well that annoyed me for several minutes.

Oh, me and two other classmates had to have a meeting with a client because we're designing something for her. Our client is a middle aged woman and she lives with another woman, this didn't really cross my mind (maybe because I don't like thinking about old unatrractive women's sexual relationships). But my classmate goes
"Do you think she's a lesbian?"
I was just like "Nah I don't think so".
"Why not?" He asked me in this quick in your face on the spot way.
I didn't really know, I couldn't say well my gaydar just isn't reading any signals so I just said "The woman she lives with just seems nanny like."
"Well my cousin lives with another woman and she's a lesbian".
I was like oh cool this guy obviously isn't homophobic.. maybe I can sorta drop the 'Yeah I'm gay' into the conversation. It didn't happen. I don't think I'm ready to be out! Is it because I'm ashamed? I'm not though. It might be because I'm not usually open about anything in my life to someone unless I'm fairly good friends with them. I think that's why. Oh yeah I just remembered, he's the one who saw class girl (the one i sorta like) holding hands with another girl in my class who only came in once or twice. No but it was more like mucking around holding hands with a little kid sorta way.. but who knows? I've been looking at her in the corner of my eye (c'mon I'm in a class full of guys, I need something to do during school hours) but she doesn't look at me.. Arr I should just talk to her and stop being such a pussy.

Hmm what else.. I kinda went to a semi gaybar. My friend's friend had a gig at this bar so I went along to check them out. The girls who worked there were pretty hot but the majority of the crowd seemed straight. My friend told me that Saturday nights are when there is more of an "alternative" crowd, so secretly I was like damn we were there on a Friday hehe. Oh and they do drag shows on Thursday. The place is cool though and I don't think they would have exclusive gay or straight nights, just a mixed bunch of people.

Yeah I think that's about all the random homo related things that I can think of right now and I also can't be bothered writing anymore! Oh yeah I haven't emailed my long lost blogging gay friend yet, I think I will later though and I have a massive urge to make him a great mix tape. I'm so happy for him because he's in love :]

Comments

SilentBlue's picture

And what kind of music do you

And what kind of music do you put on these mixed tapes?

If you don't know if a girl is gay or straight, talking to her helps alot! I'm not even being sarcastic by saying that haha....Whenever I don't know and then I finally talk to whoever it is I usually get blasted with straightness from them, so, sadly, it answers my question. Find an excuse to talk to her....especially if you're in a class of all guys! She'd probably be happy to talk to another girl.

jojojo's picture

Hey girl, good luck talking t

Hey girl, good luck talking to your class mate! I think you should do it. And check out that bar on a Saturday!
I know the thing about being attracted mostly to queer looking girls, I think for me that's similar.

We have all been injured, profoundly. (Donna Haraway)

Dlee's picture

Hey if you like the girl then

Hey if you like the girl then i would probally slowly ask her if she is. But hey it's not that easy so maybe if you see any more signs that you think she is then hey i'd go for it what possibly could happen.