I fail.

Riku's picture

Yup. I fail. Total failure. I knew I should have said something sooner. I knew it. X_X

In fact, I fail so much I don't even know weather I'm happy or sad. Duuuurrr...

Okay, now you're wondering what happened aren't you? Sora, my best friend, and super-crush. She was kissed by a boy she apparently likes. (I find this really annoying because she's younger than me. X_X I'm so behind.) I'm not sure what's happening, she wasn't as excited as I expected her to be. (And yes I'm certain that that's not just my optimistic side talking... Well.. mabye a little.) But either way I'm pretty sure I don't have a chance with her. Watch me as I crawl back into my little hole now.

But, she's going to sleep over soon, which is nice. And she's happy, which is almost compensating for the rejected feeling I have. Murr.. And it could have been worse... A lot worse.

It's funny though, right after her sister talks about some friend of hers that suspects might be queer. (She totally supports gay people.) and how she could be sitting next to her and their legs are touching and the girl dosen't pull her leg away and stuff, Sora comes over and sits next to me and hugs me. Then she sits on my lap. COULD THIS GET ANYMORE CONFUSING!?! Sorry. Frustration. And yeah, I'm just going to assume that she likes this boy who so bravley kissed her. (Me? Jealous? NEVEEERRRR.)

I just find it a little weird. I was expecting her to be more excited about something like that I guess. She seemed happy, but not like, super excited. But, it probably means nothing...

So.. I'm still trying to decide weather I should be upset or not. It's harder than it sounds.


jeff's picture


If you don't know if she's gay/bi, and she doesn't know you're gay/bi, then it seems like there are way too many variables to think that if you said something sooner anything would have changed.

Actually, if she's kissing boys, we can safely knock gay off the list, so she's either bi/straight.

As for your projection as to how she should react after kissing someone who is not you? My guess is to trust the reality of how she did react.

I'm a total myspace whore (and by whore, I mean I use it to sleep with people, I'm not on it often), so ADD ME AS A FRIEND

Riku's picture

I came out to her a week ago,

I came out to her a week ago, and haddn't really seen her much since. But I saw her today and she told me about the kiss.

And it's hard to be rational when you're upset. I dunno, mabye I'm upset because the whole situation gets more confusing because I'm a girl... It has to be easier for straight people... They've got less things to worry about. But I guess I wouldn't know. I've never been straight.

I'm rambling aren't I? Sorry. ._.

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

just cuz she was kissed by a

just cuz she was kissed by a guy doesnt mean shes not gay--you said he kissed her right?
even if she iniated it it doesnt necessarily mean anything

***love the number 7***

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icameherealone's picture

Dont blame yourself...

For her trying to act as if nothing happened and then creating the boyfriend-kiss thing. Its her way of dealing with the fact that maybe she felt the same way about you as you do about her, but she wasnt as brave, mature, or honest to herself as you to declare your feeling and identity.

whateversexual_llama's picture

Aw. *Hugs* I think that maybe

Aw. *Hugs* I think that maybe you've done all you can. She still seems REALLY like she could go for you, so maybe she's bi. Also, with the whole thing that happened after you came out to her, she seems a little awkward and skirting around the subject. You could
A)Wait it out and see if she says to you (Very safe, very frustrating and boring)
B)Bring up the subject of GLBT stuff and try to have a serious sit down heart to heart (Very scary to start, very fulfilling in the end, if it works, which I think it could)
Or C) Emo about it. (Dont do that. I'd have to stop giving you lengthy, rambling comments on your journal. Ok that probably wasn't the best incentive.)

Well... that's all i have to say this time. Good luck with her... and keep smiling!

Be yourself. Because if you're busy being someone else, then who's gonna be you?

Gerardo's picture


Tell her tonight! Don't let that hold you back!

~Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto!~