Looking back on the past few months it seems difficult to find a particular event, or even a sequence of events which are particularly spectacular. Nevertheless, WOW! What a few months it's been since I last wrote anything.
I suppose the most relevant thing is that I've come out to everyone now. My dad knows, my sister, my nan and grandad. Those were the people I was most worried about coming out to. Apparently my sister was told months ago, she just didn't say anything. She knew the whole time according to my mum.
Apparently I came out to everyone at my sister's wedding, one way or another. My dad and his wife found out through some drunk guy, which I don't mind about. Made it all easier in a way, otherwise I think I would have put it off forever. I was so pissed out of my head I didn't even realise he knew until the morning after. My dad's wife asked me if I'm gay and I just said "why?" and she explained this guy said I was. She said that even though my dad "says these things" (referring to various homophobic comments) he doesn't mean them. I said, "I think he does." She shed a tear and said although I'm not her son she loves me as a friend and she doesn't want me to feel I'm tormented. I said that I'm not tormented, which is really true. My dad could have truly never found out and I would be fine.
The main thing is that everyone knows I'm gay, and not just that they know, but I can turn around and accept it and be proud of it. All my friends know as do my work colleagues and I make a joke out of it or talk about it freely, whatever. It's like being straight, but not! Nothing's changed really except I'm free to talk how I've always wanted to talk, say the things I've always wanted to say, and so forth.
It's when you get to this point where you realise that this whole 'coming out' thing is not easy, simple or straight forward, and the process involves different things for different people. I count myself lucky to not live in some homophobic country or have some religious twats for parents. The more I've come out the stronger my gay rights opinions have become and I'm determined to do everything I can to do my bit for the gay rights movement now.
I strongly encourage everyone out there to come out in your own time, but to ensure you it's a liberating and wonderful feeling to finally be free of the secret from every last person. And finally, not to be frightened of the people you think are going to react badly. They quite possibly won't react the way you think, but even if they do - fuck 'em. They truly aren't worth wasting your precious life on worrying about.
Good luck *love* :-)
P.S. Love the new Scissor Sisters album. And Jake Shears is so fuckable it's a joke.