Its working. I'm actually starting to forget what actually happened. My lies are becoming truth in my head....is this damaging for the future do you think? Ah well, I don't care, its good for now. I decided I don't want to talk about the truth. I'm over it now....its been pushed away.
I really want to go talk to a therapist again. I just don't want anyone in my family to know. Problems are that I can't pay for it myself, I don't know who to go to and the ones that are free are not very good....I tried going to them already. They just really don't seem to give a shit. I try to talk to my friends, but I don't want to unload my problems onto them, they have their own to deal with. I also wouldn't want someone I hang around with knowing absolutely everything about me.....it might freak them out. I don't know what to do. I find I'm letting out more of my secrets though. I just can't contain them anymore, but I really don't want the people I tell to know, I just can't keep them in.
I'm changing so much right now and in the past two years.....I don't think I'm changing into something I want to be though. I don't know how to stop it!