a little help here please...what do these things mean?

Cleopatra's picture

okay, i have this friend i have been really liking. i dont know if i have a crush on her or what, but i really like her (like i want her to be a very very close friend). anyway, what has been happening is totally confusing me!!!

1. when we had a night together (we had an intimate talk one night in one of our friends' house), and she asked me to lie down with her and look at the night sky. (prior to that, i gave her a letter wherein i told her that i want to know her better. and then while we were having fun, she gently pulled me from our friends and talked about things, and that's how we ended up talking intimately) but i refused to lie down with her because i was bothered by my other friend, because before that, my other friend and i had a misunderstanding, and it was bothering me.

2. whenever we're together, she would show body languages, like holding my hands or putting her hand on my shoulder, or wrapping it around my waist. i dunno if she's like that to most of her friends, but there are more things (look at the next stuff)

3.then she keeps on telling me that she's happy whenever we're together, and then her other friend overheard it and said "how come you're not like that when we're together?"

4.she tells me that she reminds me of someone, and then her other friend would then again say, "how come you dont remember someone in me?"

5. she has been telling me that she wants to be a man, and that's her dream. and then on one occasion, my friend overheard her friend telling her, "now you are a man". (though this incident doesnt mean anything to me. except that she is kindda gay or something)

she's my classmate in my history class, and she's so warm to me during our history class, but when i try to speak to her outside our class, she seems so cold and different. what's up with that?

so what do those stuff mean? do those stuff mean anything at all, in the first place?! your help would be so so much appreciated! thanks!

jeff's picture


The hard part is that we're not reviewing objective facts here. We are seeing things from your perspective, and you are into her, so while all these things could lead one to think there is some spark or somesuch there, reading them thinking she is also just a close friend also matches up. Talking intimately, warm body language, etc., these aren't things that necessarily have to exist only where there is romantic intent.

As for her wanting to be a man, that part I don't really understand based on her quote alone.

Just roll with it, and see where it leads, but don't do it from a position of hiding or longing. If you're sure of your sexuality, at some point you can share it with her. At a later date, you can tell her you wish you could find a gay version of her to date (which gives her the option of receiving it as a compliment or revealing *she* is a gay version of her). Either way, you win, you build up even more intimacy and shared knowledge as a friend, end up dating, it's all good. Just don't live your life from the sidelines trying to interpret tea leaves. Live your truth, follow your bliss.

I'm a total myspace whore (and by whore, I mean I use it to sleep with people, I'm not on it often), so ADD ME AS A FRIEND

Mikki's picture

All of this warm body laguage

All of this warm body laguage and stuff has to mean something. There is a meaning to everything even if you don't know it yet.People do weird things for weird reasons.Sometimes the things that they do are a way of dealing with their own feelings of confusion, desire or hurt.One of the best things you can do for her and you is to sit down and talk to her and ask why she does the things that she does.Don't try and sit back and watch what happens but don't try and dive right into it.If you are really into what she is doing, make sure you know why she is doing it before you go along with it.She may be doing it for all the wrong reasons, but it can't hurt to play along as you find out.Like I said don't just go along with it, make sure you are trying to find out what is really going on at the same time.

lookin to the future...'s picture

oh boy... here's another one i can relate to....

from the looks of it, this girl is obviously into you (whether she is admitting it to herself or not). the best advice i could give you is to ask her point blank what her feelings are.... this will avoid possibly being led on and then burned like me (and a ton of other people i have talked to, straight and gay) it might scare the hell out of you, but for both of you this sounds like the best option.. let me know if you wanna talk more about this!

Cleopatra's picture


there's a problem: she doesnt listen, at all! even to her friends!! she also doesnt want to understand things, i mean, for sure she wouldnt give a straight answer since she only wants to hear and listen to what she only wants. that's the hard part though.

Sticks and stone can break my bones, but names won't hurt me!

hellonwheels's picture

well, it seems like she is into you...:)

That's always a good sign. I had a guy kinda do the same thing my junior year, and I liked him too, though I never said anything, for fear of being outed, or gettting my ass beat...lol. But it sounds like you two have some things in common. I'd try something to test the waters to find out if she is really into you though. who knows, maybe you'll get yourself a girlfriend...

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Shenlong the Arcane's picture

I don't know, because I can't

I don't know, because I can't read if a girl likes someone, especially me, but I think SHE WANTS YOU. Is that blunt enough? lol