Niggling at myself

Campfire's picture

I was out last night at some nightclub (straight) with a few friends. This girl turned up with some guy, and he was just obviously gay. My gaydar went blinking instantly. I hate to stereotype, but there we have it. Anyway, I asked his friend whether he was gay or not (hey, he was hot, I could have got lucky), but apparently he was "bisexual". Then another guy came over who I used to go to school with when I was young, and he says he's bisexual too, and like, he's so obviously not. He left school early once to go and see the Spice Girls for fuck sake. Camp as Christmas.

Anyway, I found myself actually getting annoyed that they were too frightened/worried/not-ready to come out and just fucking well say, "Yeah I am gay". I mean I didn't say anything obviously, but I just kept thinking "Stop hiding". I know who their main friends are and they are the most gay-friendly people you could meet, they couldn't give a shit.

BUT, now I'm annoyed with myself for being annoyed with them. I didn't come out until last year, and not "fully" until just a couple of months ago. Who the fuck am I to judge someone or be annoyed with someone else for not wanting to do it just yet? I think I just didn't want people to pretend their not gay when I so obviously am. I haven't been to a gay bar for months and months, I think it's a healthy release to be in a place like a gay bar rather than going to a "straight bar" every single weekend and being the token gay guy. Maybe I was just desperate to have another gay guy around rather than being the only one. Sometimes it feels like coming out has sent me into "ultra gay" mode and I need to learn not everyone who is LGB appreciates that or wants to be associated with that image. Duh.

Nevermind, I'll go on being fab regardless ;-)


Adam A's picture


oh u'r cute! wana be my sister?