Sorry about the previous journal entry it was rather short and unexplained... because I was surprised and don't know what the hell was going on. Now that I have a better idea (just a tiny tiny little bit) I'm going to write more about it.
Well, you see there's three gay/bi guys amidst our group of GLBT group of friends. When I knew these people the other two were basically going out so I felt a bit lonely (those were Vic and Tyler). But it wasn't that simple, we had many complications... Vic and Tyler had some relationship problems, and within that we had wierd crushes on each other etc. But all those times I waited and held myself back to the chances I had to get one of them, choosing a stronger friendship instead.
So I used to be reasonably good friends with Tyler, before I really got to know Vic. We flirted and enjoyed each other's company and during that time I almost forgot Vic's existence. Then I really got to know Vic better at his birthday party... and after that we became really good friends. Then what I knew was (he told me) Tyler is becoming distant in their relationships... so I tried to abstain my emotions and helped him out in ways I could. But then I figured Tyler never took things seriously, and in the end hurt Vic greatly. Soon I realised maybe Tyler wasn't the type of guy I wanted to go after because inevitably I think I would be hurt in the end. I've seen the things Tyler had done/not done which made Vic feel depressed, and I'm afraid the he will do the same things to me. It was a few days ago that Vic finally decided to break up with Tyler, believing Tyler isn't in love with him anymore. I'm surprised I'm the only three people he told, but soon others will find out anyway.
So I felt that maybe I would ask Vic out, since I thought I might've had a thing for him when our friendship was building stronger. But I never admitted it to him because I was scared the same thing would happen when I admitted to Tyler I had a crush on him when he's in a relationship with Vic, which made our friendship drifted apart. But I think Vic needs some space and time first though... I've tried my best to consolidate and give advice to him as a friend. We've developed such a great friendship through all of this, I'm just wondering if I did ask him out and he said yes, would I ultimately throw all that away in the end?
Friendship vs Relationship, always a hard one.