ok, i was feeling quite good quite recently. i was sure about everything - i knew what my plans were this week, i was confident about the trip i'm taking, and i knew what i wanted.
now though, i'm totally not sure on anything. like my plans for today. i was going on a trip to the valley today with a good friend. the valley is THE hippest place in the city. it's all art galleries, funky clothes shops, cool little indie music shops, i.e. it's the shit, i love it there. it also has a bit of a rep as a gay hangout (well, where i'm from it does) so i'm very comfortable there. it used to be kinda rough, it still is, but things have settled down (when i'm there things are ok). so anyway, plans were checked, we were taking the train together, rah rah rah, until i get a message saying that she can't come and that she's really sorry and how she's going to make it up to me.... i kind of expected it. these things seem to happen to me a lot, so i didn't really get my hopes up. but then i was hugely disappointed, so i rang around, asking people if they want to come with me. i finally asked this girl i know called joanna, and she said yeah, sounds fun.
then she says she can't come on wednesday.
i say, "how about thursday?"
"Yeah, ok. but i don't think my mum would be too cool with the valley. can we go anywhere else?"
"Why don't we just go into the city itself then?"
"But then we'll have a little adventure in the valley!"
so that was that. but i still would have rather done my original plans with jess. and i don't know if it will be fun with joanna, it will be totally different. and i have a funny feeling that i'll get stood up again.
also, i'm really worried about my holiday to melbourne. i'm going to be living with my half sister and her 3 kids. she has 2 boys and a girl. i'm worried about the oldest boy, he's 14 (His uncle [me] is 2 years older than him!!!!!!!!!) and i don't know if he'll like me or not. will be get along, or not? like if they lived up here, he would be at school with his uncle! i just want them to like me, but i don't know if i will, cause i haven't seen them in about 10 years. god i'm worried!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also i'm thinking of coming out to a friend of mine. he's gay, but hasn't told me. i just need some support, it's hard doing this by yourself.