I went to the mall today...or should i say yesterday? 'cause it's like 2 almost 3 in the morning. but anyways i went with my coworker and my friend to watch Black Christmas, it was a pretty alrite movie. i kinda spent too much money today...damn but sometimes you just have to splurge on yourself right? i kinda miss going to the mall and just hanging out. all i do now is work and seems like i never have time for anything else besides that and school. so i enjoyed today.
my friend...idk about her. i guess it's sorta my fault lol...outta all my friends, everyone come to me for relationship advice or just vents on me 'cause i listen...yeah i'm that good of a friend (yeah right lol). but yeah it's just why do they always seem to go for people that aren't good for them? deep down inside me && them i know...i and they know that they could be treated better but...i guess guys are just so irresitable? haha idk what to say or they are just to stubborn to listen. i'm betting on the latter of the two.
before going to the movies, my friend came with me to Zales where i put the ring on hold (the ring i got for my ex) and i've thought about what i was gonna do; either buy it and save it for someone else or just cancel it...and i was thinking about it....i cancellesd it! when i was at home all alone thinking i deciding that i was going to change...that 2007 will be a new year and i was going to do some things different...what are these "things"?...idk for sure but i'll know when they arise lol.
so yeah. after the movie we went to Arby's and sat around eating and talking. i remembered back to what my friend said and it was like this "ah Ariel i wish you were a guy" lol...that was when i showed her what the ring looked like and stuff. damn haha was that a hint towards something? lol NAH kidding me? even if i did like her and she was that way...i wouldn't go out with her. too much damn drama. yup yup.
i guess it's all coming to me...i hate having all straight friends. it's like i can't FULLY be myself 'cause i'm always afraid of what i can and cannot say around them. and honetly i'm always afraid of things i'll do...it's like i guess i always want to be there for people and protect them but that affectionate side comes out to much...i always have an urge to hug them to try to make them feel better, and end up imagining that something will happen <<<(that part i guess 'cause i'm lonely lol),
ah damn this is long...it's late and i'm tired but can't seem to go to sleep. i'm lying here wishing...for things that will never happen!