let's be gay together :]

Y - GuRl's picture

So some of you probably know about the guy I used to be good friends with, he's gay (found out start of the year) and I found him on myspace as well as his blog. The first time I messaged him was a few weeks ago and I got no reply back and I was feeling a little rejected and all that. Then I thought about what I had wrote in the message, it might have come across badly so I thought I would give it another go (eager beaver!) and give him a serious honest message. So I told him seeing him so happy and honest inspired me to come out to a few people this year and if we could just talk etc.

To my surprise he wrote back half an hour later! His subject line was 'oh my god' and I was already smiling to myself because I could just picture him saying it so very gayly hehe. He apologised saying that he didn't receive my first message. (hmm..) He seemed surprised and said his gaydar must've been pretty far off and asked me questions about me coming out. He gave me his email so I could give him my number so we can catch up. He also said he missed me which I thought was sweet but he's a bit of a charmer haha. I am yet to write back, but I will because I have a feeling we'll have heaps to chat/laugh about.

Well another positive coming out experience I guess you could say and potentially my first gay friend? So I'm out to 3 people plus one person who just knew.. so 4! Not a bad effort for me. Although I am working backwards.. strangers and acquaintances first.. close friends and family later. Anyone else using this technique? Maybe I'm just a weirdo.


sugarmagnolia's picture

yay for gay friends! i used

yay for gay friends! i used the same technique for coming out... my family has no idea, and there are some completely random people that found out before some of my best friends... i think it's easier that way. if a stranger rejects me, what do i care? but if someone with an opinion that i value rejects me, it's a bit harder to cope with.

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

-Ruby-'s picture

Hear Hear!

I agree... it's awesome to have gay freinds! I have noticed that since i came out, i have really preferred to hang out with my gay/bi girl freinds as opposed to my straight ones. I mean, i love my straight friends and they are usually pretty supportive, but when i talk about girls i'm dating (or bitch about how some girl screwed me over), they may try to act understanding but i can see the glazed look in their eyes... and my queer friends are the best because we go to girly bars together and have a BLAST. we've brought straight girls before, and although they claimed to enjoy it, i could tell they felt awkward at some points (like watching me make out with a chick)... LOL. Only other gay people can really understand what we are going thru, not just in terms of sex and dating, but in terms of our families... i know that all of my lesbian freinds are completely sympathetic when i talk about how my mom doesn't really accept my sexuality, cuz their moms are the exact same way. that makes me feel like we're all in the same boat. The big, fucked-up boat of wild queer teens/young adults. hehehe. :o)
Oh, and i too, TOTALLY came out to my less-close freinds first... its easier because u have less emotionally invested in them then u do with ur family and best freinds, so u know that if they reject u or react badly it wont be as awful for u.

Treacle's picture

Doing it the gay way...

I actually told my best friend first. I figured I was going to need some sort of support system (after all, the reason why we were best friends was because despite all our 'flaws,' we accepted and respected each other...besides, I don't think I'd really be friends with people who aren't liberal and tolerant.) I have to say that one needs a balance between gay and straight friends. If you have only gay friends, you tend to become a little 'detached' from the rest of the world, which as we know, is predominantly straight (because you'd be hanging out at gay bars, restaurants, etc. right?) And if you have only straight friends, regardless of our supportive they are of you, they can't really empathise with the feelings and lifestyle differences. It did seem easier for me to tell the less important people first too, so you're not a weirdo. (I guess rejection is easier to accept from them.) Best of luck with your new mate!