Like a child

Riku's picture

I wrote this long entry and pressed a button and it all dissapreared. 0_0 My computer sux. But it dosen't really matter.

Today I felt like a little kid. It's great. The world seems so magical and new when you're little. So I just sort of let all logic go and went back to that.
It would be so awesome if I could have a room where all of the furniture was designed big so it made me feel little again. Mabye I can do that some day. I'd hang all sorts of colourful decorations around the room, and I'd do things that I did when I was little. A room of nostaliga. Wouldn't that rock?

I'm going to buy walkie talkies. One for me and one for Sora, my girlfriend. Since I realized she lives just down the block and we don't need phones and walkie talkies would do the trick. She's only allowed up to 15 minutes on the phone, and it's getting colder out. So yeah. And the last two times I called I didn't get to talk to her for various reasons. So I thought of that.

I remember how, a few months ago, before I came out to her, let alone admited my feelings for her. Sora and I would disscuss plans for the future, the only thing we're sure about is that we want to either live together, or near each other. She also used to say that she wanted to move in with me when she get's old enough to. She still feels that way, I think. But she says so less. Things have been a little confusing and a little akward since she said she likes me back.

I remember us talking. We were sort of like. "Now what?" But we just sat and cuddled mostly, we talked about really simple things, I told her that things felt sort of surreal, like they couldn't be happening, she said she felt the same. It was sort of weird.

I'm a little sad since I couldn't see her today. I'll probably see her tomorrow, or feeze out in the cold trying.

This year has been really good for me, though a lot of bad things happened, I discovered a lot this year.

I was at an anime convention, and I made a total fool of myself on stage. When I got home, still feeling like an idiot, I suddenly decided not too, since I just did what I did and I can't change it anyway so I might as well be happy with it. I was the annoying weather reporter and Light from Death Note was the annoyed news brodcaster dude. Being that Light writes peoples names in a specail note book to kill people, he approched me and asked "What's your name?" XD So yeah, I felt stupid. But it was fun. Though I was a bit creeped out afterwards. XD

So, I decided that since you can't change the past, you might as well be proud of some of the sillier, and stupider things you've done. Mabye not the best wisdom, but I don't worry about making a fool of myself anymore.

I also learned that real friends love you for who you are and you can make yourself into a total idiot in front of them and they'll still love you anyways. I'm a lot less self-concious now too.

I learned that I'm not very good at debating because I always look at the details and never bother to point out the obvious stuff. Because I have a short attetion span..

And that I much rather regret something I HAVE done than regret something I haven't. I think Jeff said something like that on one of my journals, and I realized that he had a point. Thanks Jeff. =D

So, mabye, I'm an idiot, and all of this stuff that I "discovered" this year will go down the drain but it dosen't matter to me. I much rather be a happy idiot than knowlegeable and unhappy.

Yeah I found that out this year too. XD

I grew up a lot this year. Because a lot of things happened. But I'm sill a kid sometimes. That makes me happy.

I think I'm done rambling for now.

Comments

Toph's picture

How old are you again? If I

How old are you again? If I remember correctly, you're still pretty young, but you're so insightful to your own life. Impressive.

~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD

Riku's picture

I'm 14. Thanks. =3 I think

I'm 14. Thanks. =3 I think it's because I'm always making a bunch of stupid mistakes, and, being home schooled. I've got an awful lot of time to think about them.

whateversexual_llama's picture

Amen, sister. Y'know, I do

Amen, sister. Y'know, I do that too, act like a little kid. The problem is I'm soooo tall that I can't get away with it for very long.

Anyway, I agree with the thing about regrets. I mean, ya gotta put yer behind in the past put the past behind you. ^.^

Be yourself. Because if you're busy being someone else, then who's gonna be you?

Hobbit's picture

yay lion king!!!! i like

yay lion king!!!! i like ating like a kid too. its weird i look younger then 15 and act that way too, yet lots of times i'm more mature when it come to the bigger things. glad your pleased when reflecting on your year, i still have to see what happens to the rest of mine.

hugs, luck, and peace

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.