Sometimes I Wonder If I Want To Be A Man

Toph's picture

This is awkard since I've never brought up the subject to anyone before. I've always kept it to myself, but it bothers me a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I do want to be a man. But, the penis absolutely disgusts me. And, I'd rather have sex with a woman as a woman. It's just that, even though I know I won't have a sex change, I wonder if there is a part of me that does want it.

Once I had a dream that I was in a war. They had to turn me into a boy because a lot of the men died and the population was dropping. So, I was a boy and they locked me in a room with a girl and I had sex with her so she can become pregnant. (Though scientifically it doesn't work like that but it was a dream).

I have dreams about girls, but sometimes they're about me thrusting the girl like I'm a male. Strange.

(It gets a little personal here with sexual type things, so you're warned)

When I had a friend with benefits a few years ago, she fingered me. But she did it in a way as if it was the male penis, with the in and out motion. But I hated it! I hate to think anything of a male part in me. But, sometimes I fantasize about thrusting girls, but I have no part to thrust with! Even more strange.

I dunno, I just needed to let that out because it was bothering me. Sorry it was so personal, but I just had to.

Comments

msquared's picture

Hmmm...

Strap-ons, anyone? ;-)

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible." T.E. Lawrence

the ghost's picture

....

I second the strap-ons idea, solves any problems you have with a lack of parts to thrust.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

patnelsonchilds's picture

I believe that would be the

I believe that would be the tool you're after. Cuz then when you're done with it, you can just take it off and stick in in your sock drawer, instead of having to carry it around with you all the time. :-)

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"


www.myspace.com/patnelsonchilds

my three wheeler rox's picture

hmm...

I think we all have that feeling at one point or another even if it is just a fleeting thought.

3 wheels are better than 4!

corcra-carraig's picture

Same things happen to me.

Same things happen to me. Penises are nasty to me, but I'd definitely use a strap on on a girl. Hands down. I also have fleeting thoughts on being a boy, but I've had those since I was little....I'm called sir more then ma'am, always have been, even with my ponytail. I don't want a sex change, but sometimes I feel like I am missing a part.