The things I don't understand.

Riku's picture

I like to take walks, no matter what the weather, walking around the block a couple times relaxes me, at least a little. It helps me to think and clear my mind.

Last weekend I went to the mall with Sora, my girlfriend. It was nice. But I was a little sad, I kept seeing these straight couples holding hands. They have it so much easier don't they? And they don't even realize it do they?

I was taking a walk the other day, and as I walked by the houses of people I know, I wondered, would they greet me with friendly smiles the way they do if they knew I was gay? Would they shun me? Normally, taking a walk is calming, but recently it just makes me nervous. I can't help but think, would they hate me if they knew?

I don't understand hate. That feeling is foriegn to me. Hating love makes even less sense. How could caring for someone be wrong?

Mabye, one day they will understand. Mabye I'll teach them.

Sorry, I needed to vent. I normally don't get upset about things, but, I guess I've been thinking too much again.

Anyways, I tried calling Sora earlier, but her sister picked up and asked me to talk to her instead, since we're good friends I spoke to her and as funny and nice as she is, I like talking to Sora better. Hehe. Can't be helped I guess. We just, connect. Most of the time, when we talk, nobody else understands us, though we speak English. I love that. We can just gab away and it sounds like we're just saying totally random nonsense from the outside.

Well, here's where I stop. I'm about to fall asleep at the keyboard.


taste the rainbow's picture

I love going for long walks

I love going for long walks to clear my mind as well. however here in winterpeg it was -37 degrees celcius today :/ sooo ya let me refraze that; I love going for long walks to clear my mind, but only during spring/summer/fall/when the temperature is positive. .

"What they don't know can't hurt them

but it sure as hell can hurt me"

alya's picture

are you upset you cant hold

are you upset you cant hold hands . why ?
I hold hands with my gf in public, you actually would be suprised on how little people stared , at least in maine

nothing iz real
john lennon

Riku's picture

Well, we're both really shy.

Well, we're both really shy. And there's also she probably dosen't want anyone to know about us, and I don't either. Not yet anyways. And we're always running into people we know in public. But mostly, I think we're just scared. Probably for no reason, but...

Hobbit's picture

hope you feel more

hope you feel more comfortable about the whole people being accepting thing, i get it too. btw, i like what you were saying about hating love makes no sense. it kinda makes me think of something one of my teachers said once in reference to homophobia that in a world with so many ugly things to be afriad, isn't it silly to be scared of love?

hugs, luck, and peace

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.