Wtf is fucking wrong with me

Uncertain's picture

I was going to think I'm probably having a period if I was a girl but I'm not so I don't what the hell is wrong with me this whole day I was being a bitch to my mum, people on the streets, my sister, and just everyone in general. I guess I'm tired, but I'm also angry and frustrated at so many fucking things on my fucking mind. I'm such a selfish, sad person who can't control myself and only bring misery to people around me.

I also got all fucking depressed lately which I haven't been for ages. Fuck everything, fuck life, fuck things. Everything is fucking pissing me off lately. No one understands me, my sexuality and mood swings are fucking with my mind again. What the hell I hate being gay even though I thought I've been comfortable with it after coming out at school for months. Every fucking person in my life is confusing and pissing me off and so is myself, I don't even understand myself. Takes forever to explain everything on my mind but I just wish I would just blank out and never wake up. And everything frustrating me is keeping me from falling asleep, which is the next best thing. Wtf energy drink addiction agen I'm getting into so much coffee too, like 2 energy drinks and 2 coffee everyday and I can't feel a fucking thing. I want to feel something real, and I almost cut myself lately but I've been trying so hard to hold myself back after stopping for over 3 months. But what the hell that urge isn't going away agen but I keep telling me I don't have to hurt myself for this fucking world going on around me. I'm not all to blame for. Ok, wth seriously I need to just somehow fucking feel better.

ARHGHGHGH!! I feel so alone right now. Everytime even if I'm bumming around with funny friends or dealing with fucking bitches I still feel an emptiness inside me which I can't tell or explain to anyone.I want to cry, which I probably will until I fall asleep. I just want someone who really knows me and cares for me.

Comments

raining men's picture

Fuck

Fuck. I think that sums you up right now
I know the fucking feeling man, the world is that annoying. Don't complain about yourself though, you're not making the world a more miserable place. Or if you are its because the whole human race does
And congrats on the not cutting. It really won't help

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suf-fer-ing"

Riski_Call92's picture

That, right there, my

That, right there, my friend, sums up sort of how I feel right now. Except you switch cutting with physical pain in general, and you have my case. The emptiness I feel is caused by knowing that what I want, will never happen...

Rainbow_Penguin's picture

I'm proud of you

I really am.
It takes so much to give up cutting and stay away. Its almost like a drug and you have to realize.. Okay I'm feeling much to squishy right now so I'm stoping myself.
Anyway I hope things look up for you and that I didn't weird you out.