Bisexuality a Fad???

dykehalo's picture

So i know many people out there have also been feeling this but why is bisexuality becoming a fad. I know so many people who have said Yeh i'm bi and then after awhile they are like yeh i'm not gay that's just gross. I'm just gettign stressed with those people who think it's cool to be bi but don't really mean anything by it they just stay straigh but call themselves bi. ARGH!! Any comments ideas about this?

sugarmagnolia's picture

yeah, the whole bi fad thing

yeah, the whole bi fad thing annoys me... mostly because it tends to discredit those who are actually lgbt. i once saw a girl with a pin that said "just say no to trendy bisexuality"

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

Toph's picture

Yes, it annoys me. That's

Yes, it annoys me. That's why I'm reluctant to believe when I hear someone has come out as bi. Also, it can make things confusing when searching for a girlfriend/boyfriend.

~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD

haNa's picture

Parents/Experimentation

Well, teenagers love to rebel. And, sexual orientation has become the knew fad for parents to hate and fear. For a lot of kids, the biggest fear their parents have is that they'll end up gay, or even worse, bisexual. A lot of adults, even teens, see bisexuality as being 'easy' or seriously messed up to the point of 'banging anything with a pulse'. So, I think a lot of straight youths declare their bisexuality in order to piss of their parents. They grow out of it, as most teenagers grow out of the 'rebel' phase.

And, maybe not a common, sexual experimentation has led to a lot of people calling themselves bisexual. Teenagers have always sexually experimented, and often with the same sex. But, now there is so much pressure to define your sexuality that some youths feel that if they a) have experimented sexually with someone of the same gender of b) have thought about experimenting sexually with someone of the same gender they must be bi.

As sexual orientation becomes a more common topic of discussion, more 'regular' life phases will often be related to it. And, bisexuality is probably the least understood sexual orientation, so when someone doesn't understand something, sometimes they ask "How do I know I'm not..."

I think this is all the things that should be expected as something is phased into society.

~haNa

jeff's picture

Hmm...

There's the other angle to this: You have a limited window to sleep with hot straight people.

I can't talk, though. I identified as bi for a good... four days, before settling on gay. Maybe less than four.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

whateversexual_llama's picture

While I do believe that

While I do believe that people can be wired to like both males and females, the same as one or the other, many young teens idnetify as Bi while experimenting and exploring themselves and their options. It takes a while to land on the label that's just right for you, and it can be bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer, yo-mom-sexual, or anything. ^.^

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

Toph's picture

Yo-mom-sexual. THAT'S

Yo-mom-sexual. THAT'S HILARIOUS! I'm gonna use that one day. You're so cute with all the creative terms you come up with.

~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD

love__x's picture

it annoys me to, alot of my

it annoys me to, alot of my friends say their bi, and im like, no your not... most of em would NEVER date a girl, they just say it. i think its stupid.

poissonrouges's picture

Yeah it is kinda lame. (In

Yeah it is kinda lame. (In my area it extends to being gay/les too.) I mean, it's not fair for them to label themselves as bi/gay when they find it convienently trendy, but we're who we are through the bad and the good.

I've also identified as bi before, but mainly because at the time it helped me accept myself more and then be able to admit to myself about being gay.

Personally I believe the theory that there are a few straight people and a few gay people and everyone else is technically bi. The only thing is that as people get older they tend to choose either one sex or the other. I dunno, it's what my psych said and it sounded good. :p

I know there's "black sheep," but what about rainbow ones?

dykehalo's picture

hm

I don't mind when people call themselves bi before they truly figure out its just when there just doing it to be "cool". Because at one time i considered myself bi because it was too hardd to accept myself. And it also had alot ot do with media and adults saying i HAD to like guys. It was a stepping stone.
~~~NO DAY BUT TODAY~~~

andyouwillknowmebythesoundofmyname's picture

sounds right

It makes a lot of sense for most people to be bi and just not know it.

I decided to take a peek in the closet.
What a suprise to find myself hiding inside!

Shenlong the Arcane's picture

Well, me being bi, and have

Well, me being bi, and have stayed with said label for a good 2 years now... I can safely say, yes, those that pose as bi angrify me. Most are just (sorry for superficiality) fat/ugly chicks who after finding out I'm bi are like "OMG! You are too!" And they never date a girl or anything and only say that to get guys' attention. Me, hell I've done more than what an experimenter would and more often... with both sexes.lol

hellonwheels's picture

yeah, it totally is...

especially among girls. I see alot of kids saying that they are bi, just to be cool. Of course, a few are legitimately bi, but many are not and just say they are to be cool. For whatever reason, especially among girls, I see that it is becoming a cool thing to say that you are bi...who knows why though.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

kartovla's picture

the whole bi fad is

the whole bi fad is ridiculous. coming out as bi lets people have that 'oh look at me im so DIFFERENT' thing that for some reason people have come to associate with being gay, you know, the trendy aspect. but they can also revert back to their safe hetero ways if they don't wanna deal. i guess they figure it gets them all the 'best parts' of being gay, but i think only straight people think like that, cus for me the best part of being a lesbian is the girls and if youre doing bi as a fad, well, you are definetly missin the best parts.
"the opposite of war isnt peace, its CREATION!"

Toph's picture

I agree with Shenlong

I think many girls do it to catch a boy's attention because it's supposed to be so hot.

~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD

hellonwheels's picture

that was the other thing I meant to mention...

hell, I've even been turned on by girl on girl action before...I truly believe that girls do do it to get guys...

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

oldfoxbob's picture

Most likely right all of you

But we ARE born bi, and learn to follow our feelings one way or the other. There is not a str8 out there who cant have sexual relations with a member of their sex nor a gay out there who cant do it with an opposite sex member. Fad or not...they are all truly bi at first. To those who just say they are bi then YOU need to say "Prove it!!!"
oldfoxbob
Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense.

haNa's picture

Proof

While I have no problem with you expressing your opinion, I think the way you said itis highly inappropriate. Capitilizing ARE acts as if it's fact. It's not. The majority of research (if not all) on sexuality does not support this theory. Stating your own rhetoric as fact, then telling saying that someone should prove their sexuality seems like something a homophob would say.

~haNa

oldfoxbob's picture

You miss understood

Humor for fact. Prove it was ment in a "funny" way not a factual way.
Genius is not a sign of intelligence, but rather
that of common sense.

formula_truth_love's picture

I know what you mean alot of

I know what you mean alot of people at my school go around saying oh my les/bi now. Then us actual gay people in the room just start naming this sexual or what not things.

Then a couple minutes afterwards their all like oh im straight again nevermind. But I can't hate them cause their my friends but they understand now that it isn't that funny or whatever it is to me now as it is to others.


"Obsession rules us all, and we obey"--unknown
"Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes Age comes alone."--unknown
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent,protects you from age."--Jeanne Moreau, French Actress

deepspace87's picture

i think its stupid when

i think its stupid when people say their bi just cause. i said i was bi, because i was still finding out my s/o. i used it as more of a bridge to calling myself gay. using it just cause its a trend is stupid. i think too many people just want the attention from it, they just want to feel like they're part of some "club"

"Never apologize for saying what you feel. It's like apologizing for being real."

Cleopatra's picture

my sister being one of them

and yeah, I agree with you, it's really annoying! She proclaims that she's bi and then whenever we see a gay movie or couple, she would wince and say "yuuccckkk..." which is not nice AT ALL. i hope everyone lives up to what he says.

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. "- Lester Burnham, American Beauty

Moonmage's picture

I Agree With the Bi Fads but....

I agree I hate the bi fads, but here is the thing I have identify myself as bi for years, and trust me its no fad. I also see the point of being bi till you pick a sexual oreintation. What I do nto like is two things; the first is the bi fads, you know the ones really only do it to look "cool", be able to get a date, or to just to "bang anything with a pulse". Yet, I hate when people either fall for it and use that fakeness to expect that all bis are like that. This can both be in a negative and positive light. I mean I am bi, I am neither banging everything with a pulse, or doing it for the men. I probably will be a lesbian in a few years, but still till then I with the small group of bisexuals who just wish that the bi fad people went away so we can get our respect from both sides. Because I am frankly just tired of having to prove that i like girls and guys, and not that I am a fad to new friends. I am sorry if this was offensive to anyone:

Moonmage

"I should never be afraid of who I love but if they love me in return"

andyouwillknowmebythesoundofmyname's picture

have to comment

It IS often viewed as a fad....or worse..a phase
When I came out as bi to my one-time-barely-could-call-him-a-boyfriend, he said, "what, really? I need to get someone for you to kiss!"

really smooth

'course, he was tipsy to say the least at the time, so I guess I shouldn't be SO hard on him

I decided to take a peek in the closet.
What a suprise to find myself hiding inside!

Lol-taire's picture

Urgh my own little sister

Urgh my own little sister has got caught up in this whole silly thing as well.
Honestly, I expected better of her. She's clearly not bi, blatenly she's just a little confused, feeling slightly Sapphic perhaps but nothing long term.

Actually, I'm not meant to know about this anyway- my mum told me the other day when we went shopping and we both agreed that the girl is clearly mistaken. Because obviously we know her much better than she could ever hope to know herself; my mother is a shockingly good judge of character even with strangers so her kids don't stand a chance.

Like half my year at the Convent decided they were bi at some point or another. But you could tell who the real ones were because they were the ones who actually liked the whole kissing girls part- not just the attention it got them.

That said I was bi supposedly for all of about five minutes, based in my own mind mostly on the fact that my girlfriend at the time was.

Shenlong the Arcane's picture

Damn, I thought this thread

Damn, I thought this thread finally died. The bi fad thing sucks. That's why gays and straights thinks it's just a phase or being horny. Can we finally let this go? Please?

electricity's picture

yeah, i would have to say

yeah, i would have to say that i'm bisexual, but i've found it to be a "transition" orientation that will usually lead to just being gay. but i can honestly say i like boys and girls. but that could change, it's early in my orientation discovery

milk-tea's picture

it really does piss me off

it really does piss me off when people say that im going through a 'phrase', or that im just trying to follow a trend.
even my dad came up to me one day and was all, 'did you know being bi is a fad? are you bi because you want to be cool?'
if anything, im leaning more toward girls and would never, ever be straight. more like i couldnt. :)

"society is crumbling faster than an Oreo cookie being run over by a turqouise freight train."

Imstillhere's picture

ooooh that gets on my

ooooh that gets on my nerves. When my friend told me she was bi (she isnt of course) I said "Ok would you ever date a girl?" She said "Ew of course not." "Than you are not bi." "I just think its cool." It sure isnt cool to some when you actually date a girl. I think people just want to be different and "oh look at me im bi". Also people who just love to rebel telling their parents they are bisexual when they are not just start a lot of drama for nothing.

wilma wonka's picture

maybe

Some kids probably are doing it just because they think it's cool or a fad or whatever but a lot of kids aren't. At first I thought I was bi and then realized I was only attracted to girls. Lots of other people seem to have gone through the same expirience. So how do we know that lots of people don't do the opposite and consider themselves bi and then use it as a steping stone to discovering that they were really straight all along. Some people might just be hormonal or confused. We aren't them so we can never know so we shouldn't judge people.

utter_insanity's picture

My sister did this once

After I came out to her, she started telling me she was bisexual. I gave her the benefit of the doubt at first, but I started getting exasperated when she started saying, "Euw, I'm not gay," whenever I asked her if she thought a girl looked hot.

Now she admits that she was just calling herself bisexual at the time so she could see if she was straight or not. I'm still slightly pissed off at her for doing this in the first place, but at least she's not doing it anymore.


"Women in rubber will ALWAYS be flirting with me!" --Maureen in the musical RENT

EllJ's picture

To be fair

I always thought that it was strange that my ex (Laur) could text me saying she loved me and then the very next day be saying to Hanna how she thought gay people were wrong- people following a fad of being 'bi' only hurt the people who are really gay or bi, or simply confused.
But there are real bi people out there- its not a transitional phase for everyone. Some people can honestly love without thinking about whats on the outside at all- thats only my opinion though! =]

ReinbowGrl's picture

At my school it seems like a

At my school it seems like a freshman girl thing. Every year we get a new class of freshman and the majority of them say that they're bi...when really they're thrown by the idea of our GSA. It's curiosity.

Shenlong the Arcane's picture

It seems like ALOT of people

It seems like ALOT of people on Oasis don't take bisexuality as anything other than: A Transition to homosexualtiy
A "Phase of questioning"
Or just bi-curiosity.
As a bi man this comes as a shock. I thought bisexuals were a part of the Queer "community"?

Lol-taire's picture

Yeah but, bisexuality is

Yeah but, bisexuality is kind of annoying.

Now, don't get uppity.

It's just that for girls especially, they get the best of both worlds. They still get to go out with straight people so the loneliness and isolation isn't quite as acute. I know they have to do the whole confusion thing, but at least if it turns out your bi technically you really want to you can ignore the gay bits and still have fulfilling relationships.
I know you can't chose who you fall in love with and all that, but at least you have the choice between crazy sexual liberation (if that's your thing) and absolute conventional family life and anything in between. And if you want you can have babies naturally and not fear your scarring your children for life by bringing them up without a father/mother.

For ages and ages (not so much nowadays because you can be gay and mainstream at the same time- your family won't disown you and your straight friends will still be your friends) the queer community was all that gay people had. I can see how people might have felt (rightly or wrongly) that bisexuals wanted to be a part of a community they didn't need .

It must be annoying not to be taken seriously. But then that's not entirely the fault of the gays; it's also got quite a lot do with alleged bisexual teen girls who waltz in kiss a few girls at parties, loudly proclaim their bisexuality to anyone who'll listen and then get a boyfriend and never speak of it again.

the ghost's picture

....

I would consider bisexuals a part of the queer community.They still go through a lot of the same stuff as gay people.The questioning,the uncertantity,the coming out.
I don't think that it is fair to say that they can "just ignore the gay parts",wouldn't that be the same as just living in denial,by completeing ignoring a part of your sexuality.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Lol-taire's picture

I'm not saying bisexual

I'm not saying bisexual people should do that, just that in theory they can and still have fulfilling relationships.

Every monogomous person ever (gay/bi/straight) ignores parts of their sexuality or at least doesn't act on them while they're in a relationship. It's not always a terrible thing.

And I wasn't saying that bisexual people aren't part of the queer community. Because clearly that would be ridiculous. I'm just saying that I can understand why some people might have resented bisexual people being part of a community by choice, while they were part of the community by necessity. I know that's not how it works nowadays, but in the past I'm sure it was an issue.

the ghost's picture

But

Saying that bisexuals can choose to just remain living as though they are completly straight is not a fair statement.That is saying that they can choose who they are attracted to,which obviously is not the case.
I think bisexuals do need the queer community as much as someone who is completly gay.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Lol-taire's picture

Yes, but normally you can

Yes, but normally you can chose who among those you are attracted to that you actively pursue a relationship with.

Nowadays they need the queer community as much as gay people do. But that's because gay people need to have a queer community less and bi people have much less to lose by persuing gay relationships.

In the past I expect that the majority of ordinary bi people (not those on the fringes or part some sort of subculture- like the Bloomsbury set and all that) would have ignored the homosexual part of their sexuality and had conventional straight relationships.

It's not a criticism. I'm not saying this was a bad thing to do. It's a very sensible thing to do. It's probably what I'd do even nowadays if I was bisexual.

I don't see why it's contraversial to say that the experience and options of bisexuals differ from the experience of homosexuals. The experience of gay men is different to the experience of lesbians. It doesn't endow one with superiority over the other.
There's nothing nobler or more authentic or any of that bullshit about being gay rather than bisexual. Just as there's nothing nobler or more praiseworthy about gay relationships compared to straight ones.

No-one here would be scandalised if I said that often straight couples face fewer hurdles than gay couples. So why is my saying that those who have the option of being happy and content in straight relationships, also have the option of a slightly easier life in some respects .

the ghost's picture

Hmm

It just seemed as though you were being a bit harsh on bisexuals.Basically saying they can choose to be gay or straight.Perhaps I took you up wrong?
I can see that they do have an option of a slightly easier life,but they also face a lot of difficulties too,in their own right.Which I think balances out the fact that sometimes things work out for them to live the straight life,which is easier.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Lol-taire's picture

I'd never say you could make

I'd never say you could make your feelings towards one sex go away (maybe that was what was unclear) but you can chose which feelings to act on.

In a tolerant society chosing to act on feelings towards the individuals you find most attractive (regardless of gender) is obviously the most sensible option. But there are many societies and many belief systems to which a bisexual person may belong, where the person is at an advantage by still being able to enjoy heterosexual relationships, when homosexual relationships are censured.

I admit I was being fatetious when I said that bisexuality is kind of annoying. But I don't understand why suggesting that someone had more options that can result in greater personal happiness is being harsh. There's no prizes for being the most victimised- I think sometimes people forget that. Having more options is a good thing; happiness is not a sin.

the ghost's picture

I don't think saying that

I don't think saying that someone has more options of personal happiness was being harsh.But your overall attitude towards bisexuality seemed fairly negative.But you have admitted that by saying bisexuality is annoying,you were being fatetious.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Adam A's picture

meow

fad! lol that's a funny word!
i'm yet to meet/meat a bisexual. i dont think it's a "FAD" (WTF RANDOM WORD!) but i do think it's not a common as a lot of people make it seem. i do think that a lot of people use bisexuality as a compromise that usually doesnt last.