Gay like Me by onechickcagelle

theonechickcagelle's picture

Screen Name: theonechickcagelle
Real Name: Maggie
Age: 15
State: Michigan
Gender: female
Bio: I was in love with this girl last year and she left an amazing impression on me, so I had to write about her. This is actually to her.

I swear it’s your eyes.

Those perfect deep brown eyes that I have been lost in. So brown they’re almost black. Perfection.

And I swear those beautiful eyes are the reason I couldn’t look at you that night. You looked stunning: an absolute vision in that sheer black dress, moving to the pounding bass line from the music the DJ played. Your curly black hair was free. Your caramel skin was beginning to sweat. And those perfect eyes were mesmerizing. I think of the two of us dancing together and it takes my breath away. I couldn’t look at you; not into your eyes anyway. It was as though we were a couple, dancing late at night, lost in our own world. You and me: together. What I wanted but knew I could never have.

If you had told me that news in person, the news I didn’t want to hear, it would have made the blow so much worse. Your eyes would have been caring, concerned, and hoping I was okay as my nightmare became a reality with every word you spoke. We weren’t together when you told me how you felt. We weren’t a couple and you weren’t in the same room. The phone line between us made all the difference. I didn’t want to have to look into your perfect eyes when you told me that you didn’t want to be with me.

So why did you lead me on? You did it with your eyes too. There was that indescribable look that I’d catch on your face occasionally. It was like it was only for me. A look of desire, like you wanted to be my girlfriend. Like you loved me.

I still love you. Not as much as I did, but I still do. I think I always will on some level. And those perfect eyes, even thought they don’t make me weak at the knees and send my emotions spinning anymore, still could take my breath away.

-Ruby-'s picture

sooper

i can relate completely to what you are talking about... falling so hard for a girl, being mesmerized by her beauty, bonding with her, being rejected by her... feeling like you're in a dream and then in a nightmare...
(well at least that's what i got out of it... LOL)
i think there are some details you could add to the story to draw the reader in a little more, and answer some questions they may have, to help them better understand ur situation... like:
who is this girl? how did you meet her? where did this whole incident take place, this party- was it a school dance or a club or something?
all-around you did an amaaazing job girl! also, when you say this story is "to her"... do u mean u are actually going to give it to her? or its just about her?
:o)

theonechickcagelle's picture

I'm not going to give it to

I'm not going to give it to her, but if she ever sees it she'll know i'm talking to her. i just didn't want to write about her since that would seem like she wasn't a part of the story.

"It's like Dillinger once told me, 'It's always darkest just before they turn on the lights!'"

whateversexual_llama's picture

I agree with Ruby, filling

I agree with Ruby, filling out some details beforehand would add to it. Tell me where you met her, who else was there, where this takes place, shit like that. Other than that, I really like the way that you put it in 2nd person; it really adds to the effect. Great job.

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.