I Ended Up Cutting Again...

Riski_Call92's picture

Things have went from bad to worse, within the space of a few days....:(

I ended up cutting today...I didn't even really mean to...I just did..I wanted to feel the pain. But now I'm panicked as fuck, because I go for another orientation tomorrow, and I'm not sure if we have to wear our scrubs (short sleeved) or not....Needless to say, I cut on my arm. But I didn't even really cut....I used the sharp edge of a pen cap...Lol.

Another thing is that I go to get my results for my needle I got the other day...I think the needle is what triggered it...Just talking about it now, almost makes me want to cut again, but I can't, because Mom and Dad are gonna find out eventually...and I still want to go to school to see Ms. Slackson. Last time I tried to kill myself I stayed home for three weeks..Anyways I gotta go cuz it's supper time.

See you.

~Randi

Comments

erin72's picture

someone to talk to

hey used to cut to. Just to feel. Really i know it feel like that is the only thing that will help but right befor you do it think why? go punch a wall take a hott hott bath, talk , write, scream, becaus to this day i hate looking down and seeing those scares. and if you want to talk i am here
erin

patnelsonchilds's picture

I Was a Cutter Before Cutters were Cutters

It's so strange, because I used to do this back before it was even recognized as a problem and given a name. I used to scratch my arms with things, bottlecaps, broken pieces of glass etc. (I was also big on breaking dishes and basically anything else that was lying around). I did it to punish myself I think, and also, like erin72 said, to feel. Erin has already said all that I could say on the subject. Just fight it. Hard. Turn your anger into art. Writing or drawing can help to channel all that inwardly focused anger. If those kinds of things don't help, try...don't laugh...jogging, or some other form of intensive physical exercise. I think I saw msquared say someplace that he does that. Lots of people use exercise as a way to channel their anger and aggression.

Of course, we're here to help you, always. Hugs.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.amazon.com/shops/patnelsonchilds

my three wheeler rox's picture

I send

much love in your direction. You can always talk to me.

3 wheels are better than 4!