Just me again..

Riku's picture

Sora (My Best friend/ sort of girlfriend) came over. I think the tension between us is a little thicker or something. We didn't hug today. We normally greet eachother that way. I wish I could break the tension but I don't know how. Every time I want to say something it gets caught in my throat. Or if I try to do something I freeze up. It's really weird. I guess I just have to try harder or something.

But even so, we're still really close... In e-mails I'm really open to her, but I'm not like that in real life. I don't know why. I wish I could be, but I always freak out. And when I try to think of a reason that I should be scared, I can't think of one. But that dosen't make the fear go away.

I'm so pathetic. I wish I could just get over it. Why is it so hard? I'm so weak. x_x

My sister has been calling me a lot today. It's nice to talk to her even though I can't understand her very well. (I have trouble hearing people over the phone.)

My mom is sick. It's probably my fault, she gets sick when she's upset. And she's upset because I said that I'd go to Florida in March, instead of Febuary, because the week I'm supposed to go I'm really busy. (My cousins get off, I think Sora has off too, and there's a convention I'm going too.) So I said I'll go in March, and then a few hours later she called me back saying that I must hate her, and I had to explain to her that I don't hate her but I'd like to spend time with my friends and family when I can, and since I can't change the date of the convention, or when the schools give vacation, then I can just go some other time.

And today I heard that she's sick. It's probably my falut. She got sick when I told her that I didn't want to move down there too. I'm worried about her. I don't like that she's worrying so much that she's hurting herself.

Also, I'm sorry that I haven't commented on like, anything latley. ^^'

Comments

whateversexual_llama's picture

Hey, chin up. Don't blame

Hey, chin up. Don't blame yourself so much for things. It can be really hard to talk about serious things, especially when you're used to not mentionng things like that face to face.

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.