Dec. 25, 06
I feel like I have accomplished nothing! I've been off from work 2 days and there is nothing to do! I've cleaned. I've got on the net, I've slept, I've done everything I can possibly do and it is boring! I can't wait til LIFE starts again. To think.. This IS life for a low of people- stay home and do shit- how boring!
This little project is supposed to be about dealing with being... so let's get to that. Pretty soon it will be 2007. Then, I'll have 5 months until I live in San Antonio and I am basically free. I can be who I am for the most part and do what I want and I can't wait. I hope the time passes faster that these last few days which seems like weeks of... a waste.
In 5 months I hope me & * are still together. I can't exactly say why but she's someone I want in my life. She makes me laugh, is great to talk to, it seems like we will always have something to say to eachther. She's a good friends, and not only that, but a good girlfriend or as good as she can be. It's kind of hard when we only see eachother once a month or so.
I'm supposed to be in ROTC in college,then join the Air Force. But gays aren't allowed in the military. When I join ROTC at UTSA in the fall, I don't want to have to hide our relationship. I'm not sure why I picked UTSA but I think it was mainly because of her. Yeah it was. And Im moving right after graduation to make it easier for us. I've put so much into this relationship.
The other night I told her: "IDK how to say it so I'll just say it... I want to be with you forever. Fo you?" And she said she didn't know.
I guess sometimes you just put your effort into what you believe in and hope it works out even though you know it just might not. There's so many factors involved. Sometimes I think they're going to show up at my house like me and my parents did in the summer and it's going to be decision time again. What would I do? What would I say?
But that's not supposed to happen. I'm supposed to graduate and see her in the stands. I'm supposed to move to San Antonio and then we're supposed to figure it out from there.