my gay like me story

pink hair on girls's picture

whell, i figured i should post this here. grrrr . . . . i wrote half of it, then went to formatting options, then when i went back, it was ALL GONE!!!
First Name: Kyra
Oasis Name: pink hair on girls
Age: 13
Town & City: piedmont, ca
Gender: female
Bio Paragraph: I am 13 years old and i live in a small town in california. I like to play soccer, basketball, and horsebackride. I also play piano, sax, a bit of drums and guitar, and i sing. I am a lesbian, and i am currently in the closet, which i plan to change eventually.

story:
Steven was always an idiot. I just didn't know he was a homophobic idiot. I first realized it in History class. He was going around yelling, "Spear the queer!"
And spearing people with his hand. I told him that it was an awful thing to say, and he told me he wasn't "spearing" people because they were gay, he was spearing people because they were weird, or short, or tall, or nerdy. Of course. I didn't believe him for a second, but i blew it off. I figured he wouldn't do it again, and if he knew that i was one of the queers he was "spearing," he wouldn't have done it at all. He stopped saying that particular phrase for a while, but he was always saying other awful things, like, when he was walking to PE with me and my friends (who were all girls), and he said,
"I'm the only guy in a group of a bunch of girls, I feel so gay!" (I know, it makes no sense). Or the time he was giving people hugs (actually, giving girls hugs, not guys) and he said,
Or, "I don't hug guys. It makes me feel gay." Or just whenever he thinks something is stupid or wrong, he says,
"That's so gay!"
He assumed that everyone is straight. One lunch, he was talking about testicles (don't ask me why, he's a pervert). And i said, "Wait, Steven, you like testicles?"
and he said, "No way! And look who's talking. You're straight, so eventually, you'll like testicles too."
You have no idea how much i wanted to kill him. But at least he wasn't "spearing queers" anymore. At least for a while. The comments he made were homophibic, but not obvioulsy so. "Spear the queer!" was definitely obvious homophibia, and i hated it. I thought he had stopped, but i was wrong. He did it again at a few weeks later. It was at lunch, and i guess he was hyper or something, be he started the same thing. Running around, "spearing the queers." I said,
"Steven! That's an awful thing to say!"
and he said, "What, are you queer or something?"
That made me really angry. Why would he expect that every person that's for gay rights is gay? And even though i am gay, i could just as well be straight and think the same things. So I said,
"No, Steven." and he said,
"Do you even know what queer is?" I wanted to scream at him, "I FUCKING AM QUEER, YOU IDIOT!" but of course, I didn't. Instead, I said,
"Of course I know what queer is. I'm not an idiot, like you."
He still makes comments. I don't know if he'll ever stop. I'm scared to come out because I don't know if he will make fun of me. But i think every gay teen has people in their life like that. I know Steven isn't the only one in my life. He's just the one i know best, the one who makes it hurt most when he says the things he does about people like me.

so that's it. Steven isn't his real name, but i dont want people to read it and know it was me talking. is it too short?

pink hair on girls's picture

i think it is too short. . .

i think it is too short. . . it's probably only going to be a page or two. . . . maybe ill add more, but i dunno. give feedback, please.
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!
also, happy holidays!!!!!!!

pink hair on girls's picture

oops theres some typos in

oops theres some typos in there
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!
also, happy holidays!!!!!!!

pink hair on girls's picture

i added more. whell, i

i added more.
whell, i figured i should post this here. grrrr . . . . i wrote half of it, then went to formatting options, then when i went back, it was ALL GONE!!!
First Name: Kyra
Oasis Name: pink hair on girls
Age: 13
Town & City: piedmont, ca
Gender: female
Bio Paragraph: I am 13 years old and i live in a small town in california. I like to play soccer, basketball, and horsebackride. I also play piano, sax, a bit of drums and guitar, and i sing. I am a lesbian, and i am currently in the closet, which i plan to change eventually.

story:
Steven was always an idiot. I just didn't know that he's a homophobic idiot. I first realized it in History class. He was going around yelling, "Spear the queer!"
And spearing people with his hand. I told him that it was an awful thing to say, and he told me he wasn't "spearing" people because they were gay, he was spearing people because they were weird, or short, or tall, or nerdy. Of course. I didn't believe him for a second, but i blew it off. I figured he wouldn't do it again, and if he knew that i was one of the queers he was "spearing," he wouldn't have done it at all. He stopped saying that particular phrase for a while, but he was always saying other awful things, like, when he was walking to PE with me and my friends (who were all girls), and he said,
"I'm the only guy in a group of a bunch of girls, I feel so gay!" (I know, it makes no sense). Or the time he was giving people hugs (actually, giving girls hugs, not guys) and he said,
"I don't hug guys. It makes me feel gay." Or just whenever he thinks something is stupid or wrong, he says,
"That's so gay!"
He assumes that everyone is straight. One lunch, he was talking about testicles (don't ask me why, he's a pervert). Somewhere along the lines, he said,
"I like testicles!" (he was joking)
And i said, "Wait, Steven, you like testicles?"
and he said, "No way! And look who's talking. You're straight, so eventually, you'll like testicles too." Then there's this kid, Nathan. He always makes fun of Nathan, because he thinks Nathan's gay. I don't know if He is, and I don't care. But Steven makes fun of him like it's a bad thing. He doesn't understand how scarring it could be to Nathan if he actually is gay.
You have no idea how much i wanted to kill him. But at least he wasn't "spearing queers" anymore. At least for a while. The comments he made were homophibic, but not obvioulsy so. "Spear the queer!" was definitely obvious homophibia, and i hated it. I thought he had stopped, but i was wrong. He did it again at a few weeks later. It was at lunch, and i guess he was hyper or something, be he started the same thing. Running around, "spearing the queers." I said,
"Steven! That's an awful thing to say!"
and he said, "What, are you queer or something?"
That made me really angry. Why would he expect that every person that's for gay rights is gay? And even though i am gay, i could just as well be straight and think the same things. So I said,
"No, Steven." and he said,
"Do you even know what queer is?" I wanted to scream at him, "I FUCKING AM QUEER, YOU IDIOT!" but of course, I didn't. Instead, I said,
"Of course I know what queer is. I'm not an idiot, like you." He said,
"Are you sure you're not queer?" and i said a bit angrily,
"No Steven, I'm just really good friends with Matt." (matt is the school's only gay guy, and he's one of my best friends.)
He went on with lunch, pretending that nothing ever happened. We went on eating, me pretending like nothing ever happened, and him not getting how much he hurt me, and could have hurt anyone else, and not even know it. He's so oblivious to everything.
He still makes comments. I don't know if he'll ever stop. But i keep hoping it's just a phase, that he's immature and will grow out of it. I have to keep believing that, or i wont be able to ever talk to Steven. I'm scared to come out because I don't know if he will make fun of me. But i think every gay teen has people in their life like that. I know Steven isn't the only one in my life. He's just the one i know best, the one who makes it hurt most when he says the things he does about people like me.

so that's it. Steven isn't his real name, but i dont want people to read it and know it was me writing.
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!
also, happy holidays!!!!!!!

pink hair on girls's picture

i dont know how that posted

i dont know how that posted twice. sorry!
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!
also, happy holidays!!!!!!!

patnelsonchilds's picture

It's okay. I fixed it. There

It's okay. I fixed it. There have been lots of duplications lately. Must be a glitch.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.amazon.com/shops/patnelsonchilds

patnelsonchilds's picture

It looks pretty dern good to

It looks pretty dern good to me sweetie. The editors may have ideas to polish it up, but contentwise I think it's great. Don't forget to email it to me when you're ready.

Are you going to submit anything about when you knew, how you knew etc.? You don't have to. I just wondered.

Good work!

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.amazon.com/shops/patnelsonchilds

pink hair on girls's picture

3 times . . . aaaaaah!!!!

3 times . . . aaaaaah!!!! sorry
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!
also, happy holidays!!!!!!!

pink hair on girls's picture

yah . . . ill put that in

yah . . . ill put that in the bio paragraph when i email it to u. . . . ill do that rite now.
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!
also, happy holidays!!!!!!!

haNa's picture

hm

Homestly, it doesn't seemed finished to me. It's just a little blurb on the anger we all feel when we have to confront homophobia while staying in the closet. It just.... It's not a story. It's a beggining... There's nothing... distinguishable about it if it ends the way it does.

Stand up to Steven. Or, it doesn't necessarily have to happen in the story, but it needs to be wrapped up. At the end, there has to be something like 'and I regret not standing up to him' or something. Without it, it seems like a exerpt from book, not story.

~haNa

whateversexual_llama's picture

I agree with HaNa that it's

I agree with HaNa that it's a bit blurb-ish, but some of that can be fixed with editing, and also, it does seem like more of a beginning than a story. I'm actually kind of fond of that, though, because, well, the story isn't over. It's not over in real life, either. Great job! ^.^

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

patnelsonchilds's picture

Um, I'm afraid I totally

Um, I'm afraid I totally disagree. Keep in mind everyone that these are real life stories, which rarely have neat and tidy endings. Pink's submission is an anecdote, which is perfectly fine. All I would recommend Pink is that you say something at the end to tell us why this particular incident (or group of incidents) is significant to you. In other words, why, when someone asks you to write about your life as a gay teen, does this particular story come to mind? All this really needs is for you to put it into a bit of a broader context, such as, "I believe that this type of thing is one of the main reasons why teens have such a hard time coming out" or some such thing. It's not necessary to give it an ending because, as whatever says, life doesn't always work that way.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.amazon.com/shops/patnelsonchilds

pink hair on girls's picture

yah . . . i agree with u

yah . . . i agree with u guys it doesn't really have an ending . . . but its real life so there is no ending yet . . . it just kind of keeps going on . . . i kind of wrote it like that on purpose though . . . . plus i already emailed it . . . i dunno, should i write something at the end saying something like, this story doesn't really have an end because homophobia like this is still going on today?
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!
also, happy holidays!!!!!!!

whateversexual_llama's picture

... you say, "it's real life

... you say, "it's real life so there is no ending yet." That's what I said. I wasn't being critical in my comment, just making comments. I actually really like it.

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

pink hair on girls's picture

i think my point was it

i think my point was it being about the anger we feel when confronting homophibia while in the closet. that's what was sposed to be the distinguishable part
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!

pink hair on girls's picture

im adding this at the

im adding this at the end.
So that’s it. Steven and I are still friends, and this is just the beginning of the story. I could go on so much farther to say that I came out to Steven and that he stopped being like he is, but then I would be lying, because honestly, I never have stood up to Steven and he still doesn’t know that I am one of the people he makes fun of. So this is the end of my story, but it could be just the beginning of many others.
============================================
make love not war . . . . or be abstinent and bomb everybody!!!!

ForeverEndedToday's picture

I really liked this and the

I really liked this and the new ending helped it to be even better. This is a great draft, but make sure you don't forget to add some commas in places.
99 dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon

the mouse that roared's picture

I'm afraid I completely disagree with Pat...

I thought this was a book of stories, not essays in a larger context of gay life. I agree with some earlier comments that this could be fleshed out into more of a story. The length is fine, but you haven't fleshed out the content completely. I see a conflict between wanting to stand up for gay rights and wanting to come out. This doesn't have to be a conflict, of course, but in your story I think it is. If you could add a few more sentences on that or maybe organize your theme around it, this could become a really powerful piece. The content is all there--I especially like the line about wanting to scream your queerness at him, who hasn't wanted to do that at some point?--you just have to add a bit of drama and it'll be good to go! Nice work.

No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless; there is too much work to do.--Dorothy Day