God. is it a mission or a goal for girls to make me crazy? damn...well first is first.
Okie i'm not irritated or anything, but my ex L, i wish...idk like i think that she likes me still and it sucks. i guess the whole part that i can't return her feelings and that its hurting her part thats killing me 'cause i live to make others happy, but its not right to go out with someone who wants you but you don't want them. i wish that she can meet someone who can treat her right and that she can be happy. she told me that i was her only ex that was nice to her and never gave her shit like the others, well i'm always like that 'cause i think of it as if you treat someone like shit, would you want to be treated like shit? no right???
Now when i was at the store yesterday, my ex D called me up and i'm not gonna lie but i was happy...yeah yeah but it surprised me. this is how our convo went (all that i can remember lol);
D: "oh wow you answered"
Me: "yes i answered, why wouldn't i answer?"
D: "idk. well what's up stranger?"
Me: "i'm not a stranger"
D: "yes you are. i see you on aim a lot and you don't even talk to me"
Me: "well you don't talk to me either"
D: "uh well who always aimed you everytime?"
Me: "ok ok yeah"
D: "so how are you?"
Me: "i'm...ok why?"
D: "just asking. so hows you and your auntie?"
Me: "worse than before"
D: "wow so who's your new person?" (not what she asked but i forgot)
Me: "what new person? i don't have anybody"
Me: "yeah. so how're you?"
D: "um. i'm...ah ok, doing better"
Me: "oh doing better? you weren't better before?"
D: "um not for the last 2 months. i was stupid and blind."
Me: "why what happened?"
D: "i don't want to talk about it, you didn't want to talk about it that day"
Me: "what day?"
D: "that day at your job"
Me: "oh yeah. well that was a hard time for me."
...well my other friend was also on hold, so i was gonna tell my friend i'll call her back and talk to D, but when i told her to hold on she just said that she just wanted to know how i was and was gonna talk to me later.
sigh. after that i started shaking and i couldn't stop thinking about her. fuck i finally got to the point where i wasn't thinking about her constantly eeryday and feeling depressed. and you know that song "Everytime We Touch"? well she liked that song and thats the one i said in my other post about the memories and crap.
dammit i can't get her outta my head now. last night i was playing that song on repeat and i finally was able to take out this thing i had all the letters she's ever wrote to me and read some letters....i cried my eyes out. :(
right now...i want nothing to do with relationships or anything. love ain't worth the tears anymore!!
(well hey...not talking about our lil thing Bratalamay :) lol.)