Advice Needed...

maianess's picture

Okay, cutter friend. Says she'll stop. Me and her other friend issued the ultimatum (and to the guidance councilor, w/o names): get help by the end of the week, or we'll get it for you. Only now she's spazzing and saying how her parents won't understand at all and will just go ballistic--and believe me, her parents are fucking insane. She says she'll stop, and that she'll go to the councilor for something OTHER than the cutting, just so she can talk to someone........ Fuck. Any advice, any at all, would be insanely appreciated, as well as, like, hotlines or ways to get anonymous help w/ cutting. Argh. I don't know what to do.


-Ruby-'s picture


First of all, good for you for being a tru friend. But it sounds like you've done pretty much all you can at this point. You expressed your concern to her, talked to a trusted adult, and tried to get her help.
Cutting is like eating disorders- it's not really a physical problem, its a mental problem, and she needs help to understand whats going on in her head that is making her hurt her body.
Although it may be incredibly hard for her, she desperately NEEDS to talk to someone. a doctor, a therapist, guidance counsellor, whatever... just an adult who is professional and can point her in the right direction.
By all means continue supporting her and offering resources. go to appointments with her if she is scared to go alone. I know you're worried, but she can't change just for you or anybody else. you're not the one cutting, she is. and only SHE can stop it. she's a big girl, and this is HER life. the only way for her to truly begin healing is to start taking care of herself, which means getting the help she needs.

SOLDoutSCENE's picture

she needs to stop on her own

she needs to get the help when she thinks shes ready to stop, its sorta of an embarrasing subjects for cutters. You can't really give her an ultimatum, she needs to find the root of the problem on her own, and the reason why she does it.

Ward's picture

People who cut can be very

People who cut can be very hard to understand and help. So many people do it for so many reasons. I think your friend almost has the right idea (although she's not doing it for the right reasons). Cutting is not done for no reason. It's almost a 'side-effect' of the personal problems tey're having. Going to a councellor is a good thing to do. It will help her work through her problems and learn other ways of coping with her stress. I would stop pressuring her to stop cutting, because she can't really help it. I would start pressuring her to go to that councellor. Make sure she does that. She'll never stop cutting if she doesn't learn to cope in other ways. Just be there for her, and be someone to fall back on when she's working through her problems, cuz it's hard. Good luck.

Used to be it was a man's world and a woman's place was in the home...
they can kiss that shit goodbye.