ok, so i've come out to one person, but it's a bloody start! she is a distant relation of mine whom i became really close to whilst holidaying with family down south. after coming home, i rang her up and said, "I'm gay." she was like "Really? Really?" she is totally cool with it, but she did worry me to start with, cos her family is fully christian so she's like, "it's a sin, rah rah rah but i love you" and then she was going on about me being sure, and do i know for sure, and would i ever fall in love with a woman, etc and i was like, NO, I'M FUCKING SURE, I'VE HAD A WHILE TO THNIK ABOUT THIS!!!!!! lol but everything's cool now.
mike is still fucking hot. i'm using him for my major art piece this week. my medium is photography and he is playing the part of a hustler with a giant cross painted onto his bare chest....... i'm doing the painting. but really, this is feeling sad, cos he doesn't know how i really truly feel. when we fool around like "straight" boys do, he's totally teasing me when he smacks my ass and hugs me and strokes me, and i want to tell him that i'm gay. i'm thinking a coming 1/2 the way out, as in "I'm bi." that eases him into it, gives him time to think about it and then i can tell him properly. i'm just so unsure, what if it screws up our dynamic? i don't want things to change drastically. but i want to be honest. what do u guys think?
i have so much stuff to do now i'm grade 12!!!!!! not only do i have assignments piling up already, but all the extra committments to the various extracurricular stuff i do PLUS my responsibilities as a senior leader (like a prefect), which means lunch time meetings, etc i'm so close to drowning guys, it's not even funny! a bit of help would be nice.
peace out, xoxo