Exit one crush, enter another

utter_insanity's picture

I am happy to say that I am now over my straight crush. Woo-hoo!

However, I am getting another crush on a girl who I'm not sure is gay, straight, or bi.

I want to talk to her and try to get to know her better, but I'm really, really shy. Plus, she's always hanging out with these girls I don't particularly like, and it's kind of hard to ask a girl out when she's surrounded by friends that you're not fond of. The only class I have with her is chorus, and our seats are at opposite sides of the classroom, so we don't interact much. Argh. Plus, it's kind of weird to ask someone you don't know that well to a movie or something similar. I wish I had some group outing to invite her to, like a birthday party or something. Then I could ask her out without seeming weird. I mean, if you're asking someone if they want to come to a group thing, they don't have to be somebody you know that well.

Maybe I'm wrong. I'm kind of socially deficient, after all. I have a vague idea of what's fashionable and what's not, but that's not going to help me much when it comes to trying to get to know a crush better. What can I say? I'm hopeless when it comes to being social.

So, does anyone have any advice? I'm horrible with this kind of thing, so if anybody shares an idea about what I could do, I'd be extremely grateful. Free hugs for everybody who does so!


maianess's picture

Ergh, ow. That sounds icky.

Ergh, ow. That sounds icky. My only useful advice that has anything to do with stuff you just posted is that fashion and "in" stuff is overrated, and chorus = yay! (Now I have to know what section you're in... xD) But, as to your issue... I don't know. Any mutual friends you could talk to, either for the two of you to hang out, or for info as to her orientation? If she's into girls, you might be able to play the flirt thing with love notes slipped into her backpack or something.

But, of course, it is I of the zero experience. You take any advice given by my at your own risk. :P

Life is short: make fun of it.

-Ruby-'s picture


cheer up lil bunnie! you don't have to be a social butterfly to get to know this girl better... you just have to take your time and start making small steps in her direction. It's always kinda hard and awkward to break the ice, especially since you say you're shy, but somebody has to make the first move and its gunna be you. You just have to jump in and talk to her. As a girl, you know what girls like to hear. We all secretly love attention and being complimented, so just flatter her subtly. Ask her a few questions too, cuz most ppl love to talk about themself. Like, at the end of class you could just casually say:
"Hey, i like your jeans/patches on your backpack/earrings/etc. Where'd you get them?"...
"I like your new hair color. Did you do it yourself? blablahbla..."
You might feel cheezy at first, but just smile a lot and be your nice, cool self. Fake confidence even if you are secretly freaking out. Unless the girl is a total bitch, she will prolly talk with you. This is good.
It sucks that you have a beef with her girls, but you have to work around that if you want to have a chance at connecting with this chick. Just remain calm and don't let anyone intimidate you into holding yourself back. It's way better to take a chance and be rejected then to not take a chance and regret it later. good luck :o)