Homosexual parents a good idea?

the ghost's picture

I'm not too sure how exactly to word this as I don't want to offend anyone....its just something that I have been thinking about a lot lately...and basically this is it-I have been wondering if it is right to bring a child into a homosexual relationship to be raised,as the child will be denied having both a mother and father? Now granted I know the child will still have two loving parents,but is it wrong to deny the child a parent of each gender?

I myself am gay,but I would also like to be a mother some day, and I could argue that I have the right to be a mother....but then I think well a child has a right to have a mother and a father.I was just windering what you peoples think?
And can I just say again that I don't want to offend anyone with this,I was just wondering has anyone else thought this and resolved the issue with themselves?

dykehalo's picture


I believe that homosexual definitaly should bring children up. For many many reasons. Yes the children will grow up with some hatred but it will also araise the awareness of Homosexuality among the group the child grows up in. But i think if a gay couple chooses to have kids that they should adopt localy. Not overseas but localy because there are soo many kids out there who are in the foster care system in your area who are stuck their entire lives bouncing around in the foster care system because people choose to adopt overseas instead of localy.
However i think that if a homossexual couple does have a child that there should be some other major role model in the child's life. Example- If the couple is a pair of lesbians then there should be a male role model in the child's life. I believe this is especialy true if it's a guy mostly for someone to relate to. And then if its a gay couple and they have a child then there should be a female role model in their child's life. Especially if it's a girl because let's face it puberty with two guys and no other female can be kinda awkward.
Those are my personal believes i'm am in now way saying that is how it has to be or should be it's just the way i believe it should be.

Imstillhere's picture

Agree with dykehalo. I

Agree with dykehalo. I totally understand where you're coming from, shouldn't every child have both male and female parents to have the right perspectives? But if there is a male or female role model then everything would probably be fine. =D

Riku's picture

I'm not sure what to tell

I'm not sure what to tell you. But I think you should watch this:


Toph's picture

Oooh, that was a really cute

Oooh, that was a really cute song. My favorite line was "Who, if they had to can both be my mother." I cried.


~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD

dykehalo's picture


That is my fav line too!! I loved this song. And the little boy can sing really well. I loved the song soo much. Like if i can find it on limewire it's going on my MP3...lol thats how much i like it.

deepspace87's picture

id have to say that having

id have to say that having only one gender parent would be no different to a child than having one parent die when the kid was really young, so they grow up with only 1 parent anyways. i think having homosexual parents can pu the kid in some uncomfortable situations sometimes, having to defend they're parents and all, but overall, i think id have to agree with dykehalo also that they'd need a roll model. but i dont think homosexuals should be denied the chance to be a parent, thats wrong.

"Never apologize for saying what you feel. It's like apologizing for being real."

Ginger's picture


I grew up without my mom. and look how i turned out!
*looks at above statement*
k, so maybe im not the posterchild for perfect kid,
but you know what? there is no way to perfectly parent. none.

bringing up a slightly gender-offbeat kid, or one that doesnt have good role models of each sex, really isnt the end of the world.
and besides, theres plenty of goodrolemodel opportunities out there.
i personally dont see a problem at alllll with gay parenting.
especially because i think that in alot of ways gay parents can be more consiencious of their parenting decisions, simply because
A)its kinda hard to just find yourself accidentally pregnant before your ready!
b)because of the questions about gay parenting, they just tend to question their decisions more.

the mouse that roared's picture


gay parenting is just another from of a non-nuclear family (mom, dad, kids). Plenty of other types of families don't have both a mother and a father, or don't have both genders represented as parent-figures. Gay couples should be allowed to adopt and bear biological children. Otherwise there would be unequal rights, and for no reason.

No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless; there is too much work to do.--Dorothy Day

poissonrouges's picture


Hey, I grew up with Sesame Street and Barney on PBS and as everyone should know, their word goes.
The point is that those two childrens programs did segments/specials on kids who didn't live in a nuclear family. They explained it was okay to live with your grandparents, or only have one parent, etc. So obviously those people who oppose same sex couples raising children are wrong because A. Big Bird and Snuffy said so B. Barney can kung-foo kick all of their asses while singing about Poor old Michael Finnigan.
Now that is talent I can admire.

I know there's "black sheep," but what about rainbow ones?

Patch's picture

saying gays shouldn't have

saying gays shouldn't have children for fear of denying them a gender is stupid (no offense meant of course). With the same logic, what about single parents? What about a hetero couple who spend all their time at work? Or one parent is in the military, not seeing his kids for years at a time at the risk of dying and never seeing them again? Should we take those children away?

Or for that matter, what is so friggin great about having a mom and a dad? I hated my father growing up, if I'd have had two of my mom, I would have been the happiest kid in the world, no joke. Plus i might not have had those serious years of suicidal depression as a child.

And what about orphans? They don't have either, some never get adopted at all. And yet many of them grow up to be healthy, happy individuals.


"What is the purpose of life? It is to live it."

Duncan's picture

Oh God, I had a long fight with somoeone about this...

It was so idiotic. She basically said that having two Dads or Two Moms would fuck up the kid. (as in, we confuse them or something.) And she said that even with one parent, at least the kids don't have two same sex parents, because that would make trhem feel confused about how things are "supposed" to be. I kinda wanted to slap her. I'm not saying any of this as a personal thing against anyone, I was sharing a story. And yes, I think gay parenting is a good thing. Kid grows up more open minded and more free to be themselves if anything.

Toph's picture

I'm going to build on your

I'm going to build on your idea, if you don't mind.

Confuse the kids? What are we going to confuse them about? That stereotypes and forced gender roles are to be ignored? That we live in a country that states everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but you wouldn't be able to enjoy some of those rights that brings if you're a little different?

I say, if the an orphan is in need of love, give it to him. Just because his parents aren't quite of the status quo doesn't mean the child should suffer.

~May the spirits guide your every move...to assure you please her in all the right places XD

dykehalo's picture

AHMEN SISTA!!! or Brotha!

AHMEN SISTA!!! or Brotha! I'm thinkin sista but either way. And i'm not religious it just feelt like the right thing to say!

commander147's picture

Wow... I'll have you know, I

Wow... I'll have you know, I was defending people when my psychology instructor (sounds more fancy to say instructor... haha) was calling everyone idiots...
There is absolutely NO basis for your question in current real science. These studies that supposedly say you need both genders raising a kid were kicked up by people who basically got paid for their answer. There are no credible study that shows this as a reliable standard. It's that the media sells news, and exciting news like that, in a time like this era. (not to mention it sure helps some peoples position on... adoption...)

I believe that when we leave a place, a part of it goes with us, and a part of us remains. Go anywhere in this place, when it is quiet, and just listen. After a while you will hear the echoes of all our conversations: every thought and word we've exchange

-Ruby-'s picture


yeah, i agree with what most of y'all said. I mean, giving the kid role models of both genders is KEY. but it doesnt have to be this forced, contrived thing. what i mean is, any kid of a same-sex couple is gonna have neighbors, parents freinds/relatives, teachers, etc. who they can look up to or learn about "gender" from. I look around at my freinds and i think, just cuz most of us grew up with one parent of each sex, does that mean we are all perfectly happy, successful, productive, well-adjusted teens/young adults? fuck NO. so many of us had parents (or other relatives/caregivers) who abused us sexually, physically or emotionally. some of us had parents who were waaay too strict and we had to rebel so hard just to be ourselves, or parents who neglected us and let us do whatever the fuck we wanted, and so we never learned how to set reasonable boundaries for ourself. so many of our parents fight and beat eachother up, and 50% of marriages end in divorce. what kind of example does this set for the kids? life is really twisted here in north america, especially home life. most parents fuck their kids up. its sad. just finding any two people who can both love eachother and make their relationship work while simultaneously loving and caring for a child is AMAZING. their gender is just insignificant. If i can get into a stable loving long-term relationship i would feel so blessed to have a child. i want to be a mom and i just hope society wont make my kid suffer in any way for having 2 moms.

dreamers imagine someday's picture

I don't think there is

I don't think there is anything wrong with not having a parent of each gender. My school has a lot of girls with LGBT parents, alot of them are in contact with their biological father or mother. If anything, what matters more then the gender is that the kid will have a stable home life, where he or she will always be loved. I actually like taking care of kids a lot, I want to be a foster parent, who takes in siblings together (I have a lot of friends who were adopted with out their sibling and then that's when things get really fucked up.) Anyways, I think I could've done with out a dad, I've never met a kid who wasn't beaten up by their dad at least once...except the ones with LGBT parents...but then again it just might have to deal with the school I go to.

V is the bomb, he blows with anarchy!!!

the ghost's picture


I think I have a better perspective on it now.Having read through all you guys thoughts on the subject I realise that you are right.There is no good reason for gay couples not to have children.
What got the question going around my head in the first place was a tv show I seen last week in which people were debating it and the side against it seemed to have a fairly strong case,but reading the comments on here has poked holes in most of their theories.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Patch's picture

BTW I totally didn't mean to

BTW I totally didn't mean to snap at you. I just remember having to defend my right to raise a child in highschool. Teenagers are such dickheads! (sometimes). I re-read my comment, and it seemed really angsty, and just to let you know, it wasn't towards you, it was towards whoever made the original arguement against us having kids. Anyways, I;m happy Oasis could help. This is truly one of the many things that makes this site great. People can come to us about anything related to us, and you get answers straight from the queer youth population. It's f'ing brilliant.

"What is the purpose of life? It is to live it."

raining men's picture

I see

I see your point. There is something slightly uneasy about it. In the end, partially from various studies that I've heard of, it seems the best conclusion is that while it is slightly better to have traditional mother and father, gay parents aren't really much worse. And face it, is the child going to have a better life with the gay paretns or in the adoption agency?

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"

milee13's picture

My mother was a single

My mother was a single parent for the majority of my life and I like to think that I've turned out fairly well, I have a job, I'm in college, I don't drink or do drugs and I know what I want to do with my life. I doubt that having a male role model in my life would have improved me in any way--would I be smarter? Would I have a better job? Probably not. I think that two women or two men, or people who don't identify as any sort of gender can raise a family just as well as a heterosexual couple can. I don't think that parenting has anything to do with gender, it has to do with love, compassion, and the ability to compromise.

While I don't want biological children of my own, I wouldn't hesitate to adopt if children were something my partner felt very strongly about.

QuakerOats's picture

Many studies have shown that

Many studies have shown that children raised by gay parent couples of different varieties are no worse off than kids in straight families, in any way. Lots of people have familes that aren't just one mother, one father-- single parents, divorced familes, grandmothers, aunts. What makes a family is love and care. If you want to have kids, go for it.

Allen aka Princess's picture


Yes, I Actually Agree. There Tends to be a stereotype that is a child is raised with homosexual parents, that child will come out being gay him\her self, which in fact is not true. IMO, I would rather have gay parents then straight parents, and it's not because I'm Gay, It's because Gay parents don't seem to have any certain stereotype they don't try to tell their child whats wrong with whatever, they love them for no matter what, and I'm not saying that Straight Parents don't, I just think that gay parents are and can be more excepting.

Hyacinthus's picture

Loving environments

Well I personally think that it is a good idea! I mean not to put anyone down but you really don't need both figures in your life. I mean look at parents raised by single parents? I think the most important thing for a child's development is that they grow up in a loving and nurturing environment that promotes them becoming the person they want to be.

"Persuasive speech, and more persuasive sighs,
Silence that spoke, and eloquence of eyes."
- The Iliad (bk. XX, l. 315), (Bryant's translation)

shinedownkicksyouras's picture

sure we should be able to

sure we should be able to raise children.
I have a friend who just had a baby and her and her partener couldn't be happier about it. I think that aslong as that child has some contat froman adutl of the otehr gender..then there should be no problem. There are so many ways to assure htat your child gets that. Daycares, Nurssery schools, other family members, teachers, play groups are awesome places for children to get interaction from both genders.