I NEED HELP, she hates me, and is breaking my heart, again

frizzfro45's picture

for some reason, my ex girlfriend hates me. after all of the i love you's exchanged between us, her saying she will always love me, her saying we would always find eachother. She is the one who broke up with me, and now she's the one, once again, breaking my heart. I haven't even talked to her in a couple weeks, because she hates me, and I, even though I hate to say it, I kind of hate her right now. She is trying hard, with some success, to get between me and my girlfriend. I find myself disliking anybody who likes my girlfriend, because I want her, I love her, and i don't want anybody trying to take her away from me. She said she never wanted to hurt me, and that she loved me and always would, but if she ever loved me, or ever cared at all about me, why would she hate me, and why would she be breaking my heart trying to take my girlfriend away from me??? I need to talk to her, find out why she hates me, why she is doing this, but I don't know what to tell her. If any one could help me, that would be amazignly crazy awesome. I want to tell her to back off, but knowing her, like i thought i once did, that will make her come on even stronger, and make her tell my girlfriend that me and my ex boyfriend, who i broke up with because it didn't feel right being with a boy, are all over eachother at school. It would be easier and bettter if my girlfriend went to the same school as me, then she could see that him and i are no more than friends, you know, but yea, help would be so much incredibly appreciated. thanks, and why does she hate me...


flugzeug712's picture

I'm sorry. *hugs* There is a

I'm sorry. *hugs* There is a bright way to look at this. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. So... by her not being indifferent to you and actually feeling something toward you (even if it is hate) can be a good thing. If you wanna talk PM me and I'll give you my AIM (or Yahoo) screen name.

My Lesbianism is an act of Christian Charity. For all those girls out there praying for a man, I'm giving them my share. ~Rita Mae Brown

Lol-taire's picture

It might sound like a stupid

It might sound like a stupid question but does your ex actually know many other openly queer girls? Because if she doesn't it's probably not hatred, but a mixture of jealousy and her own fear that she won't be able to find someone else (especially if you two were so close) for a very long time.

Do you know if she is actually interested in your girlfriend or whether it's a case of playground I want her because you've got her?

Regardless of her motivation the best way to deal with that sort of person is to deny them the satisfaction of a drama. Don't confront her, don't respond and, as far as you're able to, cut contact (at least for the time being). Also, you have to calmly explain to your current girlfriend what your ex is doing and, if you have any idea, why she is doing it.

Finally, just breathe, relax and understand that functional relationships rise above all this petty nonsense. If you get youself dragged into her game, you'll sabotage yourself by coming across as possesive and hysterical.

Loneliness can make people do strange things. And if it's not loneliness then maybe she's just a nasty piece of work; teenage girls are vicious, dangerous creatures. Just remember you're the one winning here anyway; you have the girlfriend and this your ex's is her problem not yours, so don't let her turn it into one.

Good luck.