She knows... I think

dykehalo's picture

I was watching tv last night with my mom like most other nights and one of the characters on the show (i forget which one) was talking about being an aunt. I started saying how sad it is that i'll never get to be an aunt because my sister doesn't want to have children. At the time i was totaly forgetting that you can also be an aunt (or uncle) from your spouse's siblings. Which my mom was quick to bring up with a "but then there's your partner's brothers or sisters" and i quickly changed the direction of the conversation with a but it won't be the same because they won't be blood related.
Anywhos the pint of this is that my mother didn't say husband she said partner. I haven't yet come up with the courage to tell her that i'm a lesbian. But i'm definitaly thinking she knows. Now this is not the only indication or the only time she has used the term partner instead of husband.
I'm thinking that the next time i will just continue on with the discussion maybe come out to her. Because it would have been a great oppurtunity to tell her by saying something like and on that note mom i think you may already know this and it may be hard to actualy hear but i just want to clear the air. Mom i'm a lesbian. Or something along that lines. It of course wouldn't have come out that great.
I'm a thinker. It takes me awhile to think things out and make a decision and then i have to make sure it's the right one for me. Even a simple conversation with my friend i wait 5 minutes to IM them making sure of what i want to say making sure it doesn't make me sound rude and thinking further along in the conversation.
On the phone it's horrible because there are long pauses as i think of what to say.

Comments

-Ruby-'s picture

awww

god luck muffin! :o) since ur mom did say "partner" it does kind of sound like she might have an idea that u aren't necessarily into guys. this could be a really good ice-breaker. i've heard that for most ppl coming out to the parents is tougher and oftentimes more awkward then coming out to freinds... 'specially if ur a teen/young adult and have to live under their roof. i wish i could offer some personal advice, but i never actually came out to my parents... i was "outed", by my 10-yr-old sister! it was fucking ridiculous. basically i was dating a girl back in the fall, and my freind took a pic of the girl i making out at this halloween party. she put it on her website and somehow my lil sis saw the pic and allegedly told the 'rents. mama freaked out for a while. i guess she had thought that since i had been dating various guys for the past 4 yrs, i wasn't really "gay"... she thought i was just going thru a "lezbian phase", or bisexual, or trying to get attention by being a ho... it sucked. eventually i explained to her that i had always liked girls, ever since i was a little kid... but i was just never able to open up about it until now... and that i just feel more comfortable physically and emotionally with women, i am more sexually attracted to them, i just care about them more and connect with them better... etc.
shes become more accepting. i just dont expect too much from her... i wonder if she'll ever be as enthusiastic about the girls i'll date as she was about the guys i used to date... but as long as she's tolerant, its kewl.

patnelsonchilds's picture

Yeah, I'd say she's on to

Yeah, I'd say she's on to you. Parents are definitely the hardest, especially when they still have authority over you. It's always good to be cautious, but it really sounds to me like you could totally let the conversation just happen naturally at some point. Maybe have one of those, "Mom, what would you say if..." discussions. You'll know when the time is right for you.

Good luck sweetie. Hugs.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.samersguild.com

raining men's picture

Yep

You'd be amazed about how easily parents will know

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"