Stupid Valentines... *grumble*

maianess's picture

Arg. I know half the people on here are gonna post this, but Valentine's Day is just... annoying to be single on.

So, remember my best-friend-crush I ranted about in my first entry, and how she likes me back? Huuuuge conversation with her today in the subway station that I don't really think got resolved. She thinks I do really well at life, but she's still got this influence or power or something over me that's probably from me being head over heels for her. And she's always so pessimistic, and she's like, "this friendship will eventually die," even though I could see myself being friends with her through college and into adult life. And she just broke up with her boyfriend (she's bi). The day before Valentine's Day! Christ! And... I hate to admit it, and I don't like seeing flaws in her, but she can be pretty self-centered and drama-queen-y. She says these things that are actually pretty insulting, or... not insulting, and I can't nail the word, but... yeah. And I've never actually just told her off for it, but she was a dumbass for what she did with her bf. And I know this'll be one of those times where life is all crushing weight and she really doesn't need another person yelling at her, and I don't want to add to a load, and I always wanted to be her rock and be the one who was always there. But... I don't know. I might need to say something.

Plus, insanely tiny friend who thinks she's fat. Not eating to lose weight. We're all reasonably sure it's under control now, but I think I saw some marks on her arms. And I might've just imagined them or something... except I'm pretty sure I saw them more than once, as well as some scars in the same shape on her other arm. I'm worried, but I think if I confront her it'll not necessarily make her stop and make her be more careful, so we won't even be able to see it.

Did I forgot to mention that when best friend and I were sitting in the subway, she said "Every time I'm alone with you I keep wanting to kiss you"? ARGH! I. Am. So. Confused. At. Life.