I think I know what you mean. Like, I never talk about girls or anything like that even around people who would understand. You get so used to self-censoring that to stop doing it becomes almost impossible.
I don't think it's a problem though. Being open and comfortable about who you are doens't have to mean being completely and utterly open about everything with all people. Part of it's common curtesy to other people (keeping some stuff back) and part of it's just habit. It's normal to show different parts of yourself to different friends (especially friends who share that particular interest or trait), it's not denying who you are, it's just expressing different aspects of who you are.
True, but it's important to sometimes ask yourself - am I the only one whose lovelife isn't discussed? If no, then fine. If yes, well that's not really fair or equitable is it?
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- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gaycharacters to Sci-Fi & Fan
Well, in some ways I guess that's kind of good? People know you're gay and you're just like everyone else. Whoo hoo, equality! The only issue I have with that is, you're not like everyone else. Equality is people who are different being treated the same because there's nothing wrong with being different. I demand nothing less in my life. But it's easy for me to say, I've been lucky enough to have very good support from my family and complete acceptance by my friends.
And the other thing is not everyone is like me. I mean if I see some hot guy walk into work I'm immediately speaking over the headset and saying "everyone! The guy at the end of checkout 7, how fucking hot is he" and everyone looks over and laughs/agrees. Or I'm discussing with my sister how hot Dr. Kovatch is on E.R. Or showing my mum the nude pics of the men on my phone and asking if she wants me to send them to her. Lol. But some people aren't comfortable with speaking like that around their family and friends, and that's not necessarily because you're closeted it's just your personality.
Turn it around and imagine if you were straight. Are you the kind of person who would say what nice tits that girl across the street has? Would you tell your mum how hot you think Angelina Jolie is and how she's got great blowjob lips? If you wouldn't discuss those things if you were straight, it's not unreasonable that you don't when you're gay.
So in the end it comes down to whether you feel suppressed or not. If people told you you could say absolutely anything you wanted, would you? If not, then I guess you're just being yourself. If you fantasise about being able to talk freely around your peers, then I guess you're being suppressed still.
Just my take on things anyway :)
"If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon."
- George Aiken