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Damon's picture

Is it my imagination or did I manage to do something useful two days in a row?
Ok so here's the family tree. I have a mom but no dad, he died from cancer two years ago. I am the oldest of four boys, I'm sixteen. Charles (chucky) is next at 14, then there is Paul who is 12 and Danny who is 10. It seems that mom and dad managed to get romantic every two years huh?
Danny is like having a pull-toy following you around all day. Mom says that it is because he looks up to his older brother. That is a hell of a lot of responsibility for someone who doesn't even know what the hell he is doing yet.
Paul thinks he is all knowing and is the brilliant computer geek of the family, (glasses and all). That leaves Chucky, who is 14 and constantly feels left out of the loop or so mom says.
"Go spend some time with your brother (meaning Chucky) he just sits there watching TV all day."
That's what 14 year-olds do.
"Damon he has homework! See if you can give him a hand with it!"
Sure mom.
Dad was sick for a long time, like since I was 10 years old. Life was just one long hospital visit after another, day after day and I think it took a toll on all of us. He was a great dad and I miss him a lot and I am sure the rest do too but mom is all about getting on with life and when my grandmother passed away last year, she left this house to my mom and her brothers. All of my uncles are married and have kids and live in some urban jungle somewhere so mom got the prize, a two story house built in 1922 in Casper. I guess it was a good move. We had a mortgage in Los Angeles, here we don't and after paying all the hospital bills, I guess that is a good thing.
The furniture was all loaded onto a moving truck and we drove up from Los Angeles by car. Five of us in a '03 Mercury Marquis, YAK!
Snow? Yeah it snows in Wyoming. Maybe not a consideration for some people but for a boy raised in Los Angeles, this is like moving to Pluto.
I had seen the house in pictures and always thought it looked like something out of a horror movie. Grandma had taken good care of it and remodeled it to some extent in 2000. The four acres are all apple trees and pretty old ones at that. Last summer we had to hire a bunch of guys to do the picking while we all tried to look like we were helping.
Summer was good. It was warm and things grew and mom spent about a billion dollars on plants and flowers to put in the yard. Most of them took a turn for the worst during the winter and the only thing that survived were the rhodendrons and azalias. So much for fresh oranges from the back yard like we had in L.A.
Paul being the sensitive one, cried most of the first winter. Danny was always going,"mom, what's the matter with Paul?"
To tell the truth I felt like crying too, it was just too unreal being here away from all our friends, away from L.A. home of the big plastic and where everyone in the world knew where you lived. I mean, you say Los Angeles in Peru and they have an idea of where you live. Most people in Wyoming don't know exactly where Casper is.
So, on with life. Paul finally got male hormones or something and stopped crying. Now he is just distant. Danny still frolics around like he is at Disneyland and Chuck thinks he is God's gift to all the girls in Casper. Me? I'm still in some world of my own more like Paul I guess, just sort of removed from things that go on around me.
I am also the local chauffeur since I got my lisense and used all my college money to buy a '99 Grand Prix GT two door. Not necessarily my first choice but affordable.


jeff's picture


Thanks for sharing. So often, we only hear about people's straight crushes and when they are pissed off at their families, nice to get just a portrait of where people come from, too.

The age differences there are kind of nice, close but at a point where everyone is dealing with something differently.

Umm, you used all your college money on a car? What's the plan there.


"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

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Lol-taire's picture

I'm the eldest of four

I'm the eldest of four children as well. I'm 18 (horrifying because I swear I'm just not- I bloody loved being 17), I have a 15 year old sister, a 10 year old sister and an 8 year old brother.

You're difficult to reply to without patronizing, all I'll say it I don't know that I'd have coped at all with the few years you've been through. So however you did it, well done. I like your journal, you write well; I hope you'll do more useful things in the future and continue to update.

Damon's picture

You know it's is odd but I

You know it's is odd but I have learned one thing and that is, you cope with things as they come and by doing so you learn as you go how to deal with all sorts of things.
Happy belated birthday! 18 isn't so bad but I know what you mean, Each year it is like giving up one more bit of childhood that you are not sure you are ready to part with.

Lol-taire's picture

Thanks, I've had a month of

Thanks, I've had a month of birthday (went out on the day, then a family celebration, then party with friends) so it's been a pretty good February.
The future does feel terrifyingly close though. And I'm just upset that Seventeen by Ladytron no longer applies, same with ABBA Dancing Queen, never again will I be young and sweet only 17, hearing the beat from the tambourine. Oh yeah.

(that whole last part should be stricken from the record. Quoting ABBA means you fail life)

Damon's picture


The only reason that works for ABBA is that "Seventeen" rhymes with "Dancing Queen" But then so does "Eighteen" technically.
Don't be so fast to discount ABBA. Actually, I rather like some of their songs, of course I also like classical music as well and that is not to popular with the average teen.

Lol-taire's picture

Yeah, but the average teen

Yeah, but the average teen listens to dretful, sub-music so I shouldn't worry too much.

I'm a borderline indie-kid, so I like a fair amount of CSS type stuff and singer-songwritery London anti-folk stuff that no-ones heard of and I've got to pretend I like grindie ( cuz if I don't I'll be disowned. In the same way my friend was much, much, much more upset and geniunely slightly angry to find out I didn't actually like Sufjan Stevens than when she found out I was queer.

I also love old blues music, fado and Marion Williams. And terrible 80s music. And classical music (but only really hearing it live- my old school had an excellent chamber orchestra and one of my best friends is a bit of a violin prodigy so I go to her concerts sometimes). And insane electronic stuff. And stupid cabaret torch songs.

Because if you're ecletic enough, no-one can tell that you have rubbish taste...

Also ABBA was such a chunk of my childhood I can't ever really dislike them (but don't tell...)

So what other music do you like?

Damon's picture

Other stuff, let's see....

Being a keyboardist I am into most anything that has heavy keyboard including "synth-strings".
New Age like Mythos, 2002, David Arkenstone, Troika and Cusco.
I'd give my right arm for a Hammond B-3 as in Procol Harem's "Whiter Shade of Pale". Sarah Brightman does it but no organ.
I enjoy old Kansas and Boston songs. MOm has some on vynal which is sort of scary but Kansas could realy compose some serious sounding classical rock.

patnelsonchilds's picture

I grew up on ABBA and am

I grew up on ABBA and am still a huge fan. They are awesome. I used to have all their albums on *gasp* vinyl.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

Lol-taire's picture

ABBA are actually engrained

ABBA are actually engrained deeply at the core of my very being. There's nothing I can do about it now. I've got the sheet music, seen Mamma Mia twice and no matter how many cakes I may make Jeremy Walmsley (long story), how many Queens of Noize events I may go to, no matter how indie my leggings, how savage my haircut, how skinny my jeans, how ironic my t-shirts, there's just nothing left to be done about it. So you might just as well give up and dance.

Damon's picture

just wondering

This is actually for patnelsonchilds above^
Since you write Sc-fi and fantasy, I was windering if you had ever visited
There is a writer there who I really admire for his work. His name is Comicallity and he has a number of stories but the best by far is "Gone from Daylight" a teenage vampire story.
I have often wondered why he has not sold it as a novel. I loved it.
I have an uncle who just published a huge novel (600 + Pages)
It's about his uncle in Wold War II. He self-published through

patnelsonchilds's picture

I'm familiar with the site

I'm familiar with the site Damon, though not the story you mentioned. I have hardly any time to read since I don't read other fiction while I'm working on a novel...and I'm almost always working on a novel. lol.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"