background; first entry

electricity's picture

Journal post #1 of a 17 year old girl who is labeled bisexual, and is-- for the majority-- closeted.

I joined this site about four days ago, and I felt comforted to read various discussions of people whom share something in common with me. It was a relief just to feel that "I'm not alone" wave of ease.

I would say my "first crush" was probably a year or more ago. I had interests (on some level or another) on others before, but this was the first one that I had actually said to myself "I have a crush on this girl" and wasn't totally up in the air in trying to figure it out. We were close, but she was straight. I moved on to another crush a few months later and told her about my questioning. She was supportive, but I never brought up since... I think out of fear.
The same day I told her, I told my mom, who is my absolute best friend. She was ultimately supportive, and cuddled me when I cried; she said she was going to love regardless of what I did. Plus, she is anti-homophobic and ever open-minded.

I had a boyfriend and I liked him very much. (Boys are still in my field of interest.) And for a while that quieted my interests in girls, but every now and then it was awakened. Being single now has really shook it up, and I think I've zeroed in more on my interests for girls than guys, though I still check out both.

And now I have a new girl-crush and she is an absolute sweetheart... and straight. I'm sure more entries are to come where she will be mentioned.

None of my friends now that I am bisexual, and I haven't confirmed it among the two initial people I told.

Basic background, for you.
End Journal #1.

Comments

whateversexual_llama's picture

Welcome to Oasis! It's nice

Welcome to Oasis! It's nice to meet'cha~

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

electricity's picture

and you!

and you!

Lol-taire's picture

Welcome, I hope you enjoy

Welcome, I hope you enjoy posting here.

Straight girls crushes are the worst. Then again sometimes the girls aren't as straight as you'd thought. People no doubt think you're a straight girl. Hell, people even think I'm a straight girl (but I'm not really the type of girl people get crushes on- so it's not so important).

electricity's picture

totally. i really wish that

totally. i really wish that my straight crush would turn out to be not-so-straight. at least questioning, or something, hah.
("not really the type of girl people get crushes on.." sad =[ but me neither, really.

taste the rainbow's picture

Hey, welcomes. It's col that

Hey, welcomes. It's col that you have such a caring and understanding mother :) , and you are definitly not alone!

electricity's picture

yeah it is cool my mom is so

yeah it is cool my mom is so chill.
and thanks... it's always good to hear.