Gay slurs?

msquared's picture

Well, considering all commenting on my poetry has stopped, I guess I'll write me a regular journal. Things have been all righty...just same old, same old. Tennis season started last week, which is yay, because I get to play a lot of tennis, but also boo, because I get to play a lot of tennis. And to tell you the truth, being around so many straight guys really cramps my style, yo. =/

One thing has really been bothering me lately, and that's gay slurs. It used to not bother me when people said "gay" or "fag," because I figured it was just lingo and not a personal attack on gay people. But now I realize that whether it's slang or not, it's still disrespectful and ignorant. And it hurts me to hear such language. I always feel like I'm being attacked when people say words like that. It makes me feel very lonely because I know I have no one else to back me up. I don't know what to do about it. It'd be rude to tell people that they shouldn't say such things, not to mention a violation of the bill of rights. I might be able to safely express to my friends that I'd rather they not speak that way, but I'd feel like I'm imposing on them. I'd also feel like a hypocrite since I told all my friends it doesn't bother me when I was still thinking it wasn't a big deal. Gee whiz, guys, what should I doooo?

In lighter news, I got a rainbow pin the other day and stuck it on my backpack for everyone to see. My bi friend also told me she wants to start a GSA at out school next year. Sha-veet! Well, I gotta jet. Stay spiffy and don't be afraid to comment on my dilemma, chillins, ya'll hear? =]

Comments

patnelsonchilds's picture

You have every right to let

You have every right to let people know that you are offended by their comments. I'm not saying go pick a fight every time you hear a tasteless gay remark, but just calmly and sincerely, even humourously letting people know that their remarks offend you at least reminds them that their choice of words has an impact, not only on any gay people within earshot, but also on others around them, especially younger people, who tend to imitate the behavior of their older siblings and peers.

The slogan for the gay activist group Act Up used to be "Silence = Death". By that they meant that silence fosters hatred, intolerance and bigotry. Because people remained silent, Adolph Hitler was able to rise to power, resulting in the slaughter of not only millions of jews, but also tens of thousands of homosexuals. Although that's an extreme example, it's nevertheless true that whenever someone stays silent and allows ignorance to go unchallenged, social progress is slowed and haters are emboldened.

I just wanted to give you another context in which to think about it, sweetie. We're a long way from equality in this country. If we ever hope to get there, we all really need to continue to make our voices heard.

Hugs.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.samersguild.com

FearNotTheQueer's picture

Welcome to ignorance.... I

Welcome to ignorance.... I mean the world

andyouwillknowmebythesoundofmyname's picture

what if the slurr-er is intimidating?

There is this one guy who keeps saying really crass homophobic things (I have heard him scream cock-sucking, fag, mother F, and a number of things at the top of his lungs...especially when drunk).
I know he thinks it's funny, and he is doing it for shock value, but it still really gets on my nerves. I guess he thinks I don't care because I am a Queer girl, I guess.....I dunno.
The problem though is that he is a really good friend of several of my friends and I can't just go feminazi on him because I don't want to offend my friends.

I am going to talk to my friends first about it.
Let them know that it makes me uncomfortable.
That way when he goes off again I won't be alone if I decide to tell him to knock it off.

I decided to take a peek in the closet.
What a suprise to find myself hiding inside!

the ghost's picture

Hey dude

Yeah I think you should let your friends know that it hurts you when they make remarks that offend you.There is no point in feeling hurt and not saying anything and letting them go on saying things that hurt you.Oh and I still love your poems!!

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt