he's gone...should i feel sad?

808Chik's picture

i think a lot of people misunderstood my last post and i don't blame you 'cause i kinda did rant off topic and then i wasn't really clear on what i was trying to say....but for those of you who commented (THANKS btw) and read my last post, i DID NOT go on a date with him, all i did was hang out with him at the mall as friends. He asked me out later that day and i just thought that i could give him a chance, but made sure that he knew that it would only be ONE date and that...i am into girls.

He knew all this way before i met him in person and stuff...but he still asked me and i refused but the sucker wouldn't give up, thats why i kinda gave in because i admired him for his guts to still ask and he was pretty coo & like everyone said...it would be only one date, what could happen right?. But i guess i don't have to worry much anymore about it 'cause he's not talking to me anymore.

why is he not talking to me anymore?

Because he thinks that i don't care.

*sigh* ok this is what happened...he was pretty much texting me the whole day from when i came out of my class and when i went to my cousin's house. i wasn't texting much 'cause; 1) family comes first, and 2) couldn't really make convo out of the things he brought up...but he was like "are you ok?" and i was like "yeah why?" and he said that i wasn't texting him much and he was wondering if i was bored talking to him and stuff and i told him that i wouldn't be texting him if i didn't want to talk to him.

so...he said something but then i had to go to work and i was in the back of my dad's truck...i didn't text him until he texted me at work asking if i was busy. i told him yeah and then he said he'd text me later and then he texts me this :( and i asked what was wrong and he said that he missed me.

Idk...but i had nothing to say to that 'cause honestly i didn't miss him. But i ended up telling him that it seemed like we were on two different levels; i was on a level that i don't care what happens and i'm not expecting anything to happen and stuff whereas he's on the other level where he expects something to happen. (was it wrong for me to say that?)

he replied back by saying that he guesses that i didn't miss him, we said some other stuff to each other...i could tell that he was mad or irritated...whichever, but the thing that i remembered him telling me before he stopped talking to me was this:

i guess you don't care. i don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't care about their friends. i guess you were nice on the outside but a different person on the inside

...honestly...that hurt. it really did. but whatever if he wants to think that then that's fine with me. i guess that i'm the bad guy in this situation.

fuck...in mostly every single problem or 'thing' i get into...i always seem to be the bad guy (NO i am not seeking pity, fuck that's the last thing i want). people might as well just stay outta my way and not get involved with me before i ruin their life as i usually do with everyone.

...fuck life already.


Riku's picture

Ouch... I think he was

Ouch... I think he was disappointed because you're not interested in him like that. And he let his anger out at you. He might come back and apologize. But then again he might not... He might expect you to apologize. Or he might not expect anything. Either way I hope things turn out for the better.

He should have known that asking a lesbian out is walking on very thin ice. (if you're a guy that is.) But I still feel sorry for him a little. Unrequited love sucks. But you were honest with him which is far better than a lie. I don't think either of you did anything wrong really. But for him it really stinks too because you like girls and not him. And I don't think I need to explain to you how your side of the situation is. I'm not taking sides, but it's just like you said, you're on two different levels and it's what lead to the mess in the first place.

I don't know if I was helpful at all. But good luck. <3

P.S. And you're not the bad guy. Nobody is.

808Chik's picture

Hey. thanx. i really

Hey. thanx. i really appreciate it & it did help me. :)

"i am who i am, so don't judge me for being myself"

Ginger's picture

you didnt do anything wrong,

you didnt do anything wrong, you were honest and tried not to lead him on. it might be more immediately painful for the other person when you do that, but in the long run its the most responsible decision.

and you seem like good people to me.

patnelsonchilds's picture

Riku is spot on. He doesn't

Riku is spot on. He doesn't want friendship. He wants more and is not willing to settle for friendship. Until he gets over his crush, you will not be able to be friends. You can explain to him that you do care about him as a friend, but he obviously is unable to accept the fact that you don't have any romantic interest in him. It won't do any good though. He seems determined to take out his frustration out on you. I would feel sorry for him, but stay away from him. There really isn't any way to salvage a friendship in this kind of situation. One day things might change, but then again, they might not. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself. You did all the right things.

Please visit my Myspace Profile and add me as a friend.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"