Heterosexual males are frustrating.

scandalboy's picture

choir today. picture this: 4 seniors sitting in the back row. sean, mike, me and jake. i swear to god they are all gay if, you know, they weren't FUCKING THEIR GIRLFRIENDS EVERY FRICKIN' NIGHT! i mean, jake slaps me on the arse. i go "hang on, let me tense up so it feels muscular" so he spanks me again, and everytime i tense my arse cheeks more, he does it again. it got to the point where mike and jake both had their hands on my arse. jake then goes "oi feel mine." so i do and it is fuckin SOLID. he then told me how to get a muscular arse, and btw u apparantly have to do heaps of squats. i mean, what am i supposed to do? i get mixed messages all the time. i am given physical attention, then it gets snatched away. i know it just a hetero thing, but it pisses me off. i don't want sympathy, but can anyone understand how frustrating it is?

and bloody mike is pissing me off too. i get told that i'm someone he hopes to be friends with for the rest of his life, yet i get ditched all the time for his other jock friends. i mean, make up your fucking mind. i'm either your friend or i'm not. don't fucking ditch me all the time, or tell me that you'll pick me but never do. he didn't say one word to me the other day at this swim carnival i was doing leadership stuff at, eg cheer leading. he had a whole day to say hello, yet he never did, even though at one stage he was right behind me talking to a jock. bastard. however, i'm not making things easy for him all the time. i play hard to get (in the most strained sense of the phrase) but looking up at him and not returning a smile, or looking straight past him when he stares at me. he's such a cunt playing games with me. i reckon he's got to fucking know i'm gay and have this major thing for him, is he blind and fucking deaf? is he just toying with my emotions & playing little mind games, or does he enjoy the attention i give him? he must recognize that the attention i give him means something more.

i'm so tired mentally. i believe i'll finish off my art essay, which i got the extention for btw. good nite friends and lovers.

xo

Comments

Lol-taire's picture

It's silly you know because

It's silly you know because all the straight kids want to touch each other as much as everyone else does. Think of it like chimps doing the whole grooming thing. Like, it's ok for the girls because they can paw each other with relative abandon but boys have got to macho-ify it.
And like in cultures where the boys and girls still can't mix easily, physical affection is just standard (ostensibly non-sexually) between same sex friends. When I was in India guys would be walking around holding hands like children do. But it's not all just repression and sublimation, people just want contact because we need it.

Minor lecture warning- but people just aren't thinking about each other most of the time, they just don't notice things at all. You'd be amazed at how little people notice each other. Boys notice even less than girls (because girls train from an early age to spot each other's weaknesses and live in a state of low-grade warfare from the ages of about 12 until god knows).

And you know the old cliche is so false sometimes, because often the words that are difficult to say (like admitting how much you depend on a friend) speak much, much louder than actions, which (when you're 16/17) are so often painfully forced and self-concious still.

Duncan's picture

Yea. I wish the boys in my

Yea. I wish the boys in my school did that to me. There are groops of boys who do that to each other all of the time, and they're the jocks in our school. It's so fucking hot, and yet, I have a bit of a hard time, because they all know I'm gay, and I dunno, I'm scared to talki to them. ...Although one of them yesterday gave me a pat on the shoulder. THAT made me happy. Like, really happy. NEway, we don't have any class together, but he's nice to me. I dunno what to think of him. Usualy getting naked is my preference, but yea...
In anycase, I think that you may need to talk to this guy. If not about your feelings, then about how you feel like he's ignorong you. Guys are dumb sometimes. Usually, that's what makes us cute and endearing. Sometimes though, like in this case, it makes things fucking annoying and stupid. Maybe he doesn't know ANYTHING about how you feel. Not just emotional relationship wise, but how you feel about your friendship, like how you feel he's ignoring you. I dunno. I dunno. I know it's hard, though. E-mail/ message me sometime.

Guys are pretty confusing, and apparently drooling over them doesn't really break the ice...

raining men's picture

Sadly

Sadly its just a little bit of insecurity from straight people. Sportsmen are ven worse. It can be bloody annoying, but look on the bright side - you get to feel his ass
Which is the important thing

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"

Duncan's picture

hahahah. yea, that would be

hahahah. yea, that would be the highlighted, important point...

Guys are pretty confusing, and apparently drooling over them doesn't really break the ice...

scandalboy's picture

thanks everyone, you're all

thanks everyone, you're all awesome. i need to look on the bright side.... i felt his arse.