I kissed him...

underdarkness's picture

Well... again.

Last year, I met this nice guy and after a few dates we kissed, but after that we sort of fell apart. Recently, we got back together, so to speak, and we kissed again tonight.

I'm conflicted on this. On one hand, I really like this guy. He's cute, sensitive (but not too sensitive, just enough), funny, intelligent... most of what I look for in a guy.

On the other hand, he's been with a few people before me, which makes me really wonder if I should do anything with him if we start dating. For years I've had this perfect vision of me losing my virginity to another virgin, but I'm 18 now and it seems almost impossible anyway...

Another part of me wonders whether or not I just want to date him because I've never been with anybody before and am kind of anxious to get a boyfriend.

Should I be questioning whether or not I should date him just because he's been with a few other guys? Help me! lol

UGH...

Comments

Uncertain's picture

lol. This reads almost like

lol. This reads almost like deja vu (in many ways but not all).. I know how you feel I just hope I had some kind of good advice to give you but if I did I'd be hypocritical of myself...

patnelsonchilds's picture

Losing your virginity with

Losing your virginity with another virgin is highly overrated. In my opinion, it's much better when one person has enough experience to know what the heck he's doing. I understand the whole Blue Lagoon scenario and all, but good sex isn't genetic, it's learned. Why not start off learning from someone who's got some cred?

Is this the right guy? Are you just dating him to have a boyfriend? I'd go with your heart not your head with those questions. It's really best not to overthink stuff like that. Spend a little more time with him and let your instincts decide for you.

Whatever happens, I'm confident that you'll remember the 11th Commandment:

And God said unto Moses: "No gloveth, no loveth."

Good luck sweetie.

Hugs.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.samersguild.com

-Ruby-'s picture

hmmm

I would have to agree with Pat. Obviously i'm not the expert on boy-on-boy lovin', but I believe that any sexual situation its better when at least one person knows what they're doing. Any 2 people sleeping together for the first time is gonna be a new experience, because they are learning about eachothers bodies, which are unique from everyone else.
Anyway, you say you "really like this guy", so you shouldn't judge him for NOT being a virgin, cuz how would you feel if he judged YOU for being a virgin? I see virginity as an over-rated and oppressive concept, but if its really important to you, don't lie to yourself and act like it isn't. Whatever you do, be honest with this guy. and SAFE SEX.
"gay or straight, black or white, if you don't have a condom just say good night!"

jeff's picture

Hmm...

Yeah, more important to figure out if he's a guy you want to be with as a bf, if he is, sleep with him when the time is right.

Despite the fact that *I* was a virgin well past 23, I think it is overrated, as well as a bad metric to use whether to be with someone.

To think that people flew planes into buildings for 76 virgins... after the 12th or so, they're gunna wish there were some pros in there.

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

raining men's picture

Yeah

People before shouldn't be important. Loosing your virginity with another virgin is not the great thing it is made out to be. So consider how you feel, if you like him, etc, far more than his history.
But thus be extra careful about protection

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"

underdarkness's picture

It's not so much the fact

It's not so much the fact that he's been with other people, it's the fact that he's been with five other people. Five!

- One Nation, Under Darkness, with liberty and justice for white, heterosexual, rich, Christian men

patnelsonchilds's picture

I suppose that when you

I suppose that when you haven't been with any people yet, five seems like a lot, but really it's not. If he played safe, it's really not a big deal. Now if you really believe he's just a guy that goes around and jumps everything that moves, then don't date him. Even if it's not true, if you have that perception then it won't work out anyway. On the other hand, well I don't need to repeat it. Just go back and read all the other responses again. They're all still true, especially that "overthinking" part. :)

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.samersguild.com

underdarkness's picture

lol, would it be too forward

lol, would it be too forward of me to ask him to get checked for STDs and HIV before I do anything sexual with him? I mean, if we date for a while and I decide I'm ready for sex...

- One Nation, Under Darkness, with liberty and justice for white, heterosexual, rich, Christian men

patnelsonchilds's picture

LMAO

What are you going to do, demand a doctor's certificate? I think that would kill the romance real quick. What you can do is share your concerns with him and then if you decide to go ahead (if he hasn't strangled you by then) do what you should always do, use protection.

- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay
characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"
http://www.patnelsonchilds.com
http://www.samersguild.com