i'm scared that this is neverending...

808Chik's picture

...why does she make me heart beat so?

i'm scared. i'm supposed to be getting over her. i'm in dire need of a drink. why does she do this to me? does she not know what she's doing to me? why is there so much god damn questions, but so little answers?

i went to work early today...about 2 or 3 hours early to be exact lol. why? 'cause i didn't want to go home and then end up having to go back out and catch the bus to work & i like hanging out with my coworker...this is our last week and i want to have fun with her.

so my ex called. i didn't know. my phone was on silent. but i called her back and...god...i missed her voice. a smile crept on my face and i was happy. she asked what time i was gonna be at work...i told her i was already there and then she said she was coming.

she came. oh god. my heart skipped a beat and i was happy to see her. she came in and went out 'cause she was scared of my coworker lol thought it was my boss. sigh.

to make my condition worse. two lesbian couples came in today (well i hope they were 'cause my gaydar was going off lol). i felt so sad & so...lonely. yeahs. i'm lonely. i wanna meet a girl and be happy. but i seem to have no luck in relationships...i guess if i'm meant to be alone then it's good that i'm becoming emotionless.

too much memories went through my mind today. i couldn't concentrate. i started to tear. why does love have to hurt so much?

...fuck it. imma get me a beer soon. good thing my dad left his cooler. well. i'm off to get a buzz. maybe i'll be back...maybe not. i have class tomorrow and i have to wake up early, so idk.