march 14 [lack of a better title]

electricity's picture

Today the girl of whom I take interest returned early from her short trip she took with the school. She suprised my friend and me and we quickly greeted her with big hugs etc.

It was in the art room during a study-hall thing at lunch in which my friend and I don't participate but "watch-over" [like mentors, but we don't do squat. And really, I'm not even a "mentor" I just go in to chill] and there is other people in there on one of the computers in such. One is a guy.

My crush turns her back to him and faces us sharply and goes "I have a crush on that guy." My heart just sank and I said "Oh really?" acting intruiged and such. The more we asked her about it she said she didn't really know him and I came to the conclusion it was mainly superficial, but it was disheartening. Of course I comment on hot guys, too, but I don't know, it just seemed to kill all the hints I encountered from previous posts and stuff. As if her having a crush on a guy ruled out the possibility of liking me.
But then again, I could meet a guy tomorrow and form interest, so maybe I should take it lighter.

I still feel slightly ridiculous writing about events with my crush.
Maybe someday I'll have another topic, haha.
And I think I fear someone who knows me finding these somehow and figuring out who I like and who I am [by the name, not sexuality] based on stories I tell. It makes something inside me say "delete these entries" or "delete your account" but I don't know... I kind of like having this journal despite the insecurities I feel about it.


raining men's picture

A vent

A venting source is always good to have. keep it

"Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (which was rather too late for me)"

yep_im_a_stalker's picture

I used to worry about that a

I used to worry about that a lot. Trust me--keeping journal entries is nice because later you can look back and go "Oh wow look how I used to be!" and think about how much youve grown and stuff.


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