My ass has been hurting for days, and I need glasses...great

utter_insanity's picture

Two days ago, I was in my living room watching Moulin Rouge, and I had to pause it about a million times in order to help my four- and five-year-old siblings with problems they were having. After one of those times, I played the movie again and sat down on one of the chairs in my living room. I wasn't looking at where I was sitting, and the chair has thin wooden armrests. I ended up sitting down HARD right on one of the armrests, and it HURT. I paused the movie again and then proceeded to scream in pain. I hit my butt crack, repeat, my butt crack hard on a wooden object, and I think I must have bruised it, because it's been hurting ever since. Ugh. I wish there was some way I could make it go away immediately, but the only thing I can think of is to sit on pillows all of the time. Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

My sister told my parents that she was having trouble seeing what's on the board at school, and my folks decided to take all of their kids to see an eye doctor, just in case. It turns out that I myself am nearsighted, as well is my sister. However, I have a worse case than she does. That's just screwed up. She's the one who reports in that she can't see the board well, and yet I'm the one who has the worst vision. I’ve had trouble seeing the board lately, but I just ignored it and asked the person next to me what the board says. Good grief. This reminds me of when I was in denial about being gay. It’s insane.

My dad took my sister and I to a place to buy glasses, and the saleslady kept on showing us these “funky” and “hip” glasses, since we’re teenagers and she assumed therefore want really cool-looking glasses. I felt like screaming, “I don’t care whether they look good or not! Just get me some glasses, woman!”

I’m also trying to write a parody of the song “Superfreak” by Rick James. My version of the song is called “Superdyke.” Hopefully I’ll be posting it soon. I’m almost done correcting the final draft.

*dances and sings*

Super dyke, super dyke
She’s super dykey, yow

I know it’s totally geeky of me, but I love the song “Superfreak.” :)


msquared's picture

Oh noes!

Glasses are no fun. But at least you can impress all of your friends, family, and co-workers with your kick-ass vision. Aaaaaaand Moulin Rouge is amazing, if you haven't already guessed that. =]

“Never forget! The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Floral Arrangements and Love Secrets's picture

Sounds like a wonderful

Sounds like a wonderful eventful im totally gonna be looking for "superdyke".

whateversexual_llama's picture

Your ass hurt? Haha, if I

Your ass hurt? Haha, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were a promiscuous gay man. ^-^ If that insulted any fags, I love you dearly. =P

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.