it really is sad...but i find it a litto funny and i hate to admit it but i guess i'll let it come out...it's kinda a litto cute.
the poor guy is trying so hard and *sigh* if only girls were like this lol. well i could be like this but i wouldn't want to date myself haha...
i swear i have so much to say but idk where to start lol. well my last post that included him ended with him wanting a date and complimenting me...which i swear he never stops doing and it's irritating the hell outta me. i deleted most of those messages lol 'cause it took up sooo much of my damn memory but haha he's funny. here's some of the texts he's been sending me;
1. :) but someone pretty like you, should be taken. i'm just surprised that your single
2. awww...(mason hugs you) but like you said just take it day by day. but like you said, i'm good looking to you :)
(btw; i sooooo did not say that...what i said was the he wasn't that bad looking lol...damn boy putting words in my mouth)
3. :) i was happy that you told me that. it brought a smile to my face. :-D
4. Lol :) and i won't lie to you cuz you are pretty :) sigh. idk how to explain but as we hanged out something told me that i was with someone special
(*wow...he just fed me a line yeah?)
5. because honestly i really enjoy texting and talking to you :) i guess since we met in person i wanna get to know you more :)
...ok i stop there...you think thats a lot god if only you saw the texts from the past few days and yesterday especially 'cause i hanged out with him.
*sigh* i'm not the kind of person who tells someone to stop talking to them...i'm the kind of person who send signals and makes hints towards it and i guess this guy ain't takin any of it so that's why i finally agreed to go on that date with him and all the "fun" stuff.
i was a litto irritated last night 'cause he texted me a like midnight and asked that since we weren't sleeping yet...if i wanted to talk to him on the phone until we crashed and i told him no and he got mad (he didn't tell me but i knew though he was), so i was like "why is that so important to you?" and he's like "it's not that important, let's just stop i don't want to get into a fight and lose your friendship"...yeah yeah that was nice but gosh.
ok...i was thinking about stuff lately and what i noticed about myself (yes i was having my own heart to heart soul search lol) and i realized that i hate when people try to control me or want to know every single little thing about me and what i'm doing...or just tries to...idk...open me up so they can dissect me and label the different parts of me.
i like having my secrets and my freedom...i hate when people try to bring me down to them and that i'll stay with them. this is what i'm getting from him. i know he wants a good girl...a perfect girl...he labeled me as that and i am sooo far from perfect, god...and why'd it have to be me? the lesbian? the one that all the guys that want to go out with and want me to change...for them. why am i going to change who i am just for some guy, who'd only want to experiment with me and see how i am and then dump me later?
yeah yeah they say that i'm "special" and that i'm not like other girls and i don't treat them like shit...well the only reason why i don't treat people like shit is because I don't want to be treated like shit...like i'm just another girl, another fuck, another body to look at.
fuck that's why i get irritated. DON'T feed me lines and believe that i'm gonna fall for it. DON'T think that complimenting my body is going to make me like you even more.
I FUCKING THINK WITH MY MIND, NOT MY BODY.
Gosh...a frickin straight guy wanting to date a lesbian. a lesbian that he wants to change for him. a lesbian that he thinks will be 'perfect' with him. a lesbian that he thinks is pretty, has a "sexy" body. a lesbian that he thinks is falling for his lines. a lesbian, who he thinks that after the first date...will change her mind and "something" will happen.
If he weren't such a nice guy...i would've slapped him upside the head and thrown him to the side and not care about whether or not he's hurt. but NO i'm a fucking nice person...i'm giving this guy a chance that i've never given anyone else...and he's fucking getting ahead of himself, saying that something could happen after this date and that it could be something better and change everything.
WHY? must i go through with this?
BECAUSE ARIEL YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!!
i don't fucking care if i'm in a relationship or not...why do people make like it's a MUST essential in life? why can't i be happy and single at the same time? do i have to be with someone to be thought of as someone?.
oh mann. i never meant to vent this far. but i needed to get all that out. i'm dying here and i have nothing to drink and i don't feel like cutting (which i'd probably end up doing 'cause i'm stressing already)...
i should finish up my driver's ed homework and go to sleep after. i'll talk to ya'll later. take cares and be safe :)