Taken from a conversation I am currently having with my ex and good friend. My words, not his.
I'm extremely complicated. I love every one and no one all at once. Because in this constant battle for me to prove that I need no one, I give myself and I hold back depending on what I want from people. And sometimes it's a twisted game I play and sometimes...It's a desperate plea to matter in this world.
I can say that I love somebody else, but there is somebody that I will always love...Maybe it's not the same love I once felt, but if she needed me, I'd be there in an instant, if only I could be the sun her world revolved around again.
And I have resorted to my poetic complexities because I have no way to come right out and tell people how I feel.
Loving people is hard. I love quickly. But that doesn't mean that I love somebody with everything I've got...I felt that love once, before I was jaded and afraid to throw the world on its end and forget everything but the way somebody's arms felt around me.
And sometimes I wonder if I can ever give that much again when I was hurt so badly. Because I was so innocent and I thought that a teenage romance could save me from my world. And that promises were actually kept and love meant forever.
Love has saved me once and destroyed me all at the same time.
Love and pain are equal in life; you cannot have one without the other.