Besides all this other crap in my mind that (and fuck I don't even know how many fucking things are on my mind right now)... today I've been feeling really fucked up. It never really hit me but today I was on like a fucked up self-esteem mood and I was thinkin how fucking ugly I look. I can look good if I try, but right now no matter what I'm just thinking how fugly my face and body and everything is. I think I have a right to be pissed off. So many things on my mind. Gosh I'm such a control freak.
That didn't make sense but who cares. Not like it really has to. I also can't believe I started cutting again. In a moment of anger I stapled myself too, which I never really done before. Fuck. Gosh it's just everything. It's the stress and everything at THAT moment and I can't handle anything anymore. I fucking hate life at this moment right now. I'm going to sleep now, even though I'm not supposed to until I've done my homework and study. But I can't afford to stay up any longer. I'm scared I'll hurt myself more.