When she smiles, I melt inside, but she looks at me with those eyes, I hate that she's capable of lies

frizzfro45's picture

Can somebody please tell me why i put myself through this almost every week?? I love her so much, maybe that is why i torture myself like this. Almost every week we end up taking a break. i got used to it, i figured out a way to not think about it, but when your little sister is getting on your nerves making your life a living hell, and you have ACTs in three days, totally stressing like crazy, everything just comes out. I don't know what I should do. I love my girlfriend so much, but i don't know if i can handle all of these breaks. I just wish we could get through it without the two day breaks. This is killing me, but it would do more than break my heart, it would shatter it, if we didn't get back together. SLAP ME IN THE FACE, please. Maybe I'll stop crying, and do something. I just torture myself by wearing her necklace, her chain, her sweatshirt, her hat, and by hanging out with her, but i can't help it.

I miss her arms around me, her lips on my forhead, on my neck, her lips on my lips. I miss her smell, the twinkle in her eyes when she smiles. I miss the feeling of her staring at me when im' driving, pointing out every time i do "the nose thing" I miss it all, i miss her.

i can't stop crying now that i've started, but, i'm going to go pick her up, hold her hand, joke with her, turn away when i cry with her next to me, kiss her, and beg for her back. I don't know what is going to happen, but I need to see her.


Lol-taire's picture

Maybe you put up with it

Maybe you put up with it because although you feel dreadful you love the drama. The crashing lows that accompany the dizzy high moments, are so preferable to the monotony of just feeling alright most of the time.

If you honestly can't stand it then you should break it off permenantly, you'll feel terrible for a while and then you'll feel alright. But I don't think that's what you actually want.

I'm sorry you're miserable and I hope you do get back together with her (if that's what you want), but really I'm a little jealous. Obviously you can't be happy about your situation, but at least realise that quite possibly one day there'll be times in your life without any drama at all and if they go on long enough you'll look back at this tumolt with more than a little nostalgia.

I mean all this kindly and I'm sorry if I'm out of line. I hope the exams go well.

electricity's picture

=[ i hope things go better

=[ i hope things go better for you. a vague wishing-well, but i'm not exactly a wise wordsmith. best of luck.

808Chik's picture

aw hun i'm sorry...i hope it

aw hun i'm sorry...i hope it gets better for you. love is just...too much especially when you have someone. that is a lot to go through...damn 2 day breaks...no wonder your stressing...it's not good for you, but hopefully it gets better...cheer up :)

"i am who i am, so don't judge me for being myself"