Aaaah...I think I have my first broken heart

utter_insanity's picture

I'm trying to get over my straight crush, and IT. IS. EFFING. HARD. I've had this gigantic crush on her for years now, ever since fifth grade. I've always had this tiny hope in the back of my mind that she might secretly be gay/bi and not realized it yet, but that small hope has been squashed by the terrible hammer of reality. (Yes, I'm going to stop using weird metaphors now. Please don't worry.)

God, I'm like this emotional wreck now. I can't even look at her or I'll start staring at her. She looks so darn GOOD. But if I start staring at her, then I'll get upset and I'll want to cry, because she's straight and I CAN'T HAVE HER.

This is insane. All I do now is sit around and either read or play video games. I can't work on my novel now. It's too dang hard. I can't concentrate. My creative juices aren't flowing. (Um, sorry about that last metaphor. I'm really trying to stop using them in this entry, but I don't think it's working.)

I hate my crush!! She's keeping me from writing! Writing is almost my one true love! How can she do this to me??

I feel awful. I think I have my first broken heart. Ouchies.

Does anyone have any advice about how to get over a straight crush fast? I really need it. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE HELP!

Comments

Lol-taire's picture

Obsessing over trying to get

Obsessing over trying to get over a straight crush, is just obsessing over a crush by proxy

You've just got to let it take it's course. Going to be really patronising now (sorry!) but I can remember so well the crushes you get when you're 13 and they're just insanely horrible and intense and it barely even seems like you can stand it. And there's nothing you can do. It does break your heart a bit. But it ends.

If you can't write anything good, just write anything at all. Even if it's terrible, make yourself write. That's the only way to get writing again. After pages and pages of bollocks you might start to find your ideas are working again.

jeff's picture

Hmm...

While I guess you can call it anything you want, my instinct is that when another person with whom you could or did have a relationship with dumps you, you will probably not think it is comparable to your present situation, since this one exists entirely in your head without the other person actively participating.

Similarly, your mind, not your crush, is what affects your ability to write or do anything else. You basically created a situation, reality intervenes, and now you have to mentally get out of the situation you created. So, only one person was involved in all of this... and as such, only one person can be changed or blamed for anything ancillary. :-)

---

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." -- Josh Billings.

Add me on MySpace!

-Ruby-'s picture

I agree with Loltaire & Jeff...

There's no "magic cure" to get over a crush, and it's not this chick's fault that ur having trouble writing.
ur just in a bad headspace right now. ur angry, upset, hurt, confused, insane... and that's OK. you can't force these feelings to go away, and if u try to ignore them, they are just gonna come out in random outbursts, headaches/stomach aches, bad dreams, etc. u just have to feel ur feelings and express them in a non-destructive way. if u feel like crying, cry those tears out & u may feel better/calmer after. if ur angry, punch ur bed, or write an angry letter to the girl saying fuck off u stupid bitch (just don't actually give it to her!)... talk about her, write about her, until every last thought u ever had about her is totally out of ur system. then u'll be able to think more clearly and be ready for moving on.
good luck... :o)

gaynow's picture

Oww...

Yikes, I'm sorry. Sounds like an icky situation. About the not writing thing, don't push it too much--if you've got writer's block, you've got writer's block. You can walk away and not try to write, and that's totally fine, because sooner or later it goes away and you're a writer again. Or, like other people said... free-write. Hit the generators on seventh-sanctum. Write/bitch about your crush. (As much as I hate myself for saying this) write about writers' block. Keep the faith, it'll get better (the writing and the crush.) Luck!