Dammit, why does she have to look so PERFECT??

utter_insanity's picture

When I carpooled home from school with my straight ex-crush today, I couldn't stop staring at her. Argh, I hate her so much! Why did she have to look so good? Her hair was perfect, her skin was perfect, her face was perfect... AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!! I've done my best to get over her, and I thought I was doing great, and then this happens. How can she look so good and not be aware of it? I mean, honestly!

She also told me that she thinks that this celebrity, Channing Tatum, who played the character Duke in the movie She's the Man, is hot. I got angry/upset because she said this, and I pointed out something about him that I think is really weird. In the movie She's the Man, when you see him with his shirt off, why the heck are his nipples so pointy? That's one thing that really weirds me out; guys with their shirts off. I don't know why, but their nipples just look POINTY to me. It's probably because they get cold or something, but that's just one thing that weirds me out personally.

When I said this, she looked at me like I was the strangest, saddest creature on the Earth and that she had no idea what the crap I was talking about.

But enough of that. On to something else. I'm kinda getting a new crush on this one girl. She's one of my friends, and she's sweet, nice, intelligent, and pretty. She's also my best guy friend's girlfriend. Ugh. My love life is terrible. I want to meet a gay/bi girl! I want to ask my mom and dad if I can go to this lesbian and gay community center in my state that I found out about on the Internet, but there are a couple of things wrong with that.

1) It's three hours away from my house, and I doubt my parents are going to want to drive me for three hours to the center, spend an hour or so there, and then drive back for three hours. I've tried to find other places that are nearer to my house, but I've failed so far.

2) I'm way too nervous and too much of a wimp to ask my parents to take me there. I don't know why, but I'm scared to ask them. It's irrational of me to be nervous. I'm out to my parents. They accept me. I guess I'm just afraid of them saying, "No, you can't go, it's too much trouble."

I want to scream at myself. (But I won't, because that would be kind of stupid.) I need to be more open about my sexuality with my parents. I don't talk to them about my crushes. I just don't feel comfortable. I really need to start.

All right, I don't think I have anything else to whine and rant about. Please comment! :)


my three wheeler rox's picture

oh my goodneth...

Don't you hate it when an extremely hott female has no idea how amazingly hott she is? My crush is like that; the other day she pulled her hair back in a ponytail (never saw her hair like that) and I commented on it and she gave me a wierd look and said, "Well, this morning when I got up I didn't like what I saw in the mirror." I almost screamed!
Anyways, you asked for comment, I gave comment, can I have a cookie?

Ride hard or stay home.

Do they react that way because of who we are or because of your personality?
"I like to think it's me."

Riku's picture

I'm out to like, everyone,

I'm out to like, everyone, but whenever the subject is brought up my face still turns cherry red. Don't know why, but pretty much everything makes me blush anyways. (Which apparently some people find cute, but I just think it makes things more embarrassing.)

Good luck with finding a girl who isn't straight, I'm sure there are plenty. They're easier to find once you come out. (I don't know if you're out yet or not.) And depending on what kind of area you live in.

joemondragon's picture

My crush blushes. I think

My crush blushes. I think its the cutest thing in the world. Only on guys though. Sorry.

"A friend is someone who bails you out of jail; a best friend is someone who stands in the cell next to you and says 'that was freakin' awesome'"
-Dr. Jamie Morris