When I carpooled home from school with my straight ex-crush today, I couldn't stop staring at her. Argh, I hate her so much! Why did she have to look so good? Her hair was perfect, her skin was perfect, her face was perfect... AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!! I've done my best to get over her, and I thought I was doing great, and then this happens. How can she look so good and not be aware of it? I mean, honestly!
She also told me that she thinks that this celebrity, Channing Tatum, who played the character Duke in the movie She's the Man, is hot. I got angry/upset because she said this, and I pointed out something about him that I think is really weird. In the movie She's the Man, when you see him with his shirt off, why the heck are his nipples so pointy? That's one thing that really weirds me out; guys with their shirts off. I don't know why, but their nipples just look POINTY to me. It's probably because they get cold or something, but that's just one thing that weirds me out personally.
When I said this, she looked at me like I was the strangest, saddest creature on the Earth and that she had no idea what the crap I was talking about.
But enough of that. On to something else. I'm kinda getting a new crush on this one girl. She's one of my friends, and she's sweet, nice, intelligent, and pretty. She's also my best guy friend's girlfriend. Ugh. My love life is terrible. I want to meet a gay/bi girl! I want to ask my mom and dad if I can go to this lesbian and gay community center in my state that I found out about on the Internet, but there are a couple of things wrong with that.
1) It's three hours away from my house, and I doubt my parents are going to want to drive me for three hours to the center, spend an hour or so there, and then drive back for three hours. I've tried to find other places that are nearer to my house, but I've failed so far.
2) I'm way too nervous and too much of a wimp to ask my parents to take me there. I don't know why, but I'm scared to ask them. It's irrational of me to be nervous. I'm out to my parents. They accept me. I guess I'm just afraid of them saying, "No, you can't go, it's too much trouble."
I want to scream at myself. (But I won't, because that would be kind of stupid.) I need to be more open about my sexuality with my parents. I don't talk to them about my crushes. I just don't feel comfortable. I really need to start.
All right, I don't think I have anything else to whine and rant about. Please comment! :)